Alone with you
by The Cursed And The Gifted
Summary: Clary Fray is an artist living alone, she has no one until she meets a Jace Wayland in a bar one night and feels a connection. will Clary finally have someone there for her, or will she push him away? Warning possible sexual themes and mentions of drug,child and alcohol abuse. Give it a shot!
1. Clary Fray

Do you ever wish there was just one person you could relate to, feel comfortable with or even someone you could put your guard down with? Most people have brothers, sisters, friends and parents, but me, I'm alone. People liked me talked to me but I never really had a crowd at school, I dated guys but the relationships never seemed to last because we just couldn't connected. I didn't know my parents or if I had siblings, I was raised by a verbally abusive woman named "Jocelyn" who now only contacted me for money, bitch. So really people weren't a part of my life, I lived a quiet life as an artist, living alone in an overly big home, no pets, no friends and no real family. It really wasn't a surprise to be sitting alone on a Saturday night drinking a beer in a crowded bar.

My name is Clary Fray; I'm alone in a world full of companionship.

I sipped my beer, feeling the sting of alcohol slide down my throat, I stared into thin air. "Can I sit here" a low rough voice asked in front of Me., looking up I s aw a yellow curly haired man, maybe a year older than me. He was tall and lean, very good looking. Just standing across from me holding a beer, smiling. "It's just there's no other seats left in the bar and I really don't want to stand." he said when I didn't answer right away.

"Sure" I said motioning to the seat, taking another gulp of beer the man sat down crossing his left leg over his right.

"Thx, and don't worry, I swear I won't slip anything into your drink" he joked trying to make my comfortable and in a way I was, but not entirely. "My names Jace Wayland" he grinned reaching his hand across the table, offering it to me. It was a polite gesture and it didn't bother me to take it.

"Clary Fray" I said taking his hand, and shaking it. In a way he reminded me of a lion, cat like, sharp, ready to attack at any time. Most people would think of that as a reason to avoid him, or stay away, I should stay away, but I didn't want to. We took are hands back.

"The artist?" Wow, would it be creepy if I said you were my favorite artist?" a sly smile crept across his face, it really wasn't that weird to be recognized by name, I didn't submit pictures with my work and I was well known in some places or by some people, not that my work was anything great.

"No, it's fine. You just don't strike me as a person involved with art" he ruffled his hair and leaned back lifting an eyebrow at me.

"Well I'm full of surprises, just give me a chance" I smirked as he took a sip of his beer. "So I have looked everywhere and I can't find any interviews with you, why?" because I like my privacy.

"Because I'm an artist, not a politician" yah politician knew all the right people, said the right things to say and lied their asses off. He laughed, looking at me, like he found something extremely interesting with the way I looked. "So what do you do?" I asked helping with the conversation.

"I am at the moment job-less, I used to be a fighter but I retired early when my uncle died last year." he stirred his beer, making circles in the air. There was this addicted about him that told me he was a fighter, but I saw a real sensitive side to him.

"I'm sorry" I nodded my head in his direction feeling somewhat sympathetic.

"It's alright, he raised me, we never got along perfectly but we were all we had" he didn't have parents either, no siblings and he lost his uncle, poor guy; I knew what it was like to be alone.

"I don't have family either, my parents left me." I said opening up to this stranger, maybe with some help from the alcohol.

"I don't know how that must feel, to be left behind by the two people who are supposed to love you most" he whispered and suddenly I relished how death had turned us this dark.

"so you live in town?" he nodded "if you want I can let you see my new work, not tonight but I can give you my number" I offered him knowing I needed to change the subject before it turned out to sad.

"Yeah I would like that" he smiled again looking at his phone probably to check the time. "I got to run" he said and we exanged numbers waving good bye, he winked at me before he left leaving myself, speechless over the strange person, I think I would like to know. Oh well.

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><p><strong>A sneak peek!<strong>


	2. Jace Wayland

I punched at the bag, over and over as the sweat trickled down my face. I lose myself in anger, fury at nothing at all, just this punching bag. I hate this, I hate what I have become, I'm just a washed up fighter with no one to stand by him. Am I even that? My arms ached and my fists struggled to relax after I gave one last hit. I breathed deeply, slowing down my heart rate. I was in my uncle's gym, well I guess it's my gym now, but it will always be his, it was closed but I inherited a key. This is where my uncle taught me to fight, this is where we trained, and this is where I became strong. I grabbed my water bottle and chugged it. turning my eyes to the floor, it was stained with my blood in many spots of the room, my uncle always said I needed to learn to back down before I got myself killed, to learn when I can't win, I never did.

I and my uncle never got along great, he always said I was my father, arrogant, pathetic and too smart for my own good, he loved me but he would never have admitted it. He was that kind of person to never ask for help, or to tell you they cause trouble. My uncle was rich, owned a lot of business, and made a lot of under the table deals. He was caught in a hit in run last year, the cops stopped looking and that would probably be for the best but I knew my uncle, it would take a plan to kill him. Out there somewhere, a man is flaunting his success at killing him, taking the one person I had left and somehow he had benefited from my uncles death.

I slammed the bottle of water on the floor; the water drenches the wood through the torn plastic as I fell to my knees. I buried my face in my hands, feeling tears stream down my face and fall in my palms, I sob for what felt like forever.

The pain stopped, for now. I stood up and looked at the time down on my phone, fucking three in the morning. I grabbed my bag and left, locking the door behind me. my motel room was only a few blocks away, so I walked, leave it to me to be the dumb ass walking alone in new York at night, I'm fucking stupid. I listened to the soft scuff of my shoes on the side walk, the city was quite tonight. Cars passed, lights flickered and wind blew chilling me.

I got to my crappy motel room and unlocked the door, closing it behind me I cast my bag down, I needed a shower. I grabbed a towel and had a quick shower in the bathroom and of all things to think about in a hot steamy room, I thought about that girl from last week. Not a day had went by that she hadn't slipped into my mind, Clary, fuck I loved that name. Since my uncle died I hadn't found anyone I wanted to be close to, until her, when I saw her sitting there alone, I just couldn't help but walk over. I hadn't known she was who she was, an artist, my favored artist. her art was so beautiful, so true, I guessed it was how she expressed herself, her anger, her hate, her needs, I could tell by her work she was lonely, I was lonely.

I got out of the shower and changed into a pair of pajama pants, I looked around the room I had been living in for a year. It had a closet, TV, dresser and a bed, the fucking bed. I was the kind of guy who picked girls up all the time, not really intentionally, they chased me, I just fucked them and kicked them out, what can I say I'm an asshole. This place had begun to feel cold, the stale muggy smell and I no longer wanted to sleep in that bed. It had hit me a while ago I would have to go home, to the place my uncle raised me, to the house I inherited in his will, and I needed to go there. I looked at the date and decided tomorrow was going to be the day I finally face my past; I finally leave this disgusting place.

I climbed into the bed I hated, covered under the covers and protected by the darkness of the room as I turned off the lamp. I closed my eyes and drifted off.

OOOooOOOOoooOOOOOoooo

I stood in front of my old home leaning against my black Harley. I wasn't sure if I could go inside, or even step on the property. Just the thought of being here had ruined me for so long; when he died it didn't feel real, I thought I would walk through his office door and find him working at his desk. I knew that couldn't happen, and truthfully I didn't know how I felt about it, my body was numb in my pathetic fear of the place I was raised.

when my parents died, I remember my uncle walking into the room I was given, patting my head as my tears stained the fluffy pillows, silently he laid a picture on my bed and left. The picture was of me and my dad, he had kept it on his desk, it was of me tossed over his shoulder on Christmas morning, we were laughing. All through my childhood I held it in my sleep, no teddy bear, just this picture. Right up until I was sixteen and burned it in a fit of rage, I was breaking down and it was the only thing I had left of them. My fists clenched underneath my folded arms, I was acting pathetic, blaming them for dying. I hated myself and every other person on this earth, because of the lies I told in the past, lies like "no, I didn't see him" or "no, I'm not afraid of the man who killed my parents", lies I'm still telling.

There was a loud crash in the yard next door, followed by a women's voice yelling "shit". Instinct drove me towards the notice, holding my fists as power flowed through my veins, forgetting the fury that was there just a moment ago. I search for a sign of distress, when I noticed a woman with bright red hair jump from a low branch on a tree, strange.

"Um excuse me, are you alright?" she turned around fast startled, confusion and shook was written all over her face, but it was me who was confused. There stood clary, the girl I had met at a bar a little over a week ago; the girl I hadn't went a day without thinking about, how ironic. She was wearing black jeans and a simple blue tank, it fit her. Her cheek was smeared with what looked like orange paint with a light blush creeping up from behind it.

"Jace?" she said, I didn't trust my voice so I nodded, feeling a lump form in my throat. I felt like a stalker, I hoped she didn't think I was stalking her. Her hands went to her hips, "what are you doing here" what were you doing in a tree?

I let my hands relax when I realized they may be threatening and took a deep breath. Pointing at the house I said "I was next door and heard a crash followed by a women screaming" I managed to say it without stumbling, thank god. it was funny but looking at her know she reminded me of a girl I went to school with, I never knew her name of talked to her but they seemed similar.

"That place has been empty for a long time, what were you doing there" she asked as her eyes went cloudy and she nibbled on her bottom lip, I could tell it was a habit. Could I tell this women I barely knew what I was doing here, or did I know more about her then I thought I did.

"Well you could say I own it" I mumbled tucking my hands into my pockets with a shrug, not daring to look at her. This whole compensation was strange, she was a girl I met in a bar, the first girl I didn't take back to my room and fuck, but why didn't I. I didn't need to explain myself to her, who was she to interrogate me? I tried to believe this meeting was my fault and she really didn't have the right to question me, after all I came here to save her, but I knew I wouldn't blame her. It had somehow been a shock but I was glad to see her.

"I knew the man who lived there" she stated and I met her eyes, they were cold and filled with sadness "he used to watch me paint; he'd stop by and talk to me, sometimes tell me about this boy he raised. This boy who grew up and left him, this man he missed more than anything" I'm limbs shake and I once again tasted regret on my tongue, it was sour and vile. "Is Jace short for Jonathon?" I nodded. I hadn't realised he had missed me, he never called, never picked up when I called, never invited me to visit. I was angry again. "I should leave" I turned my back on her, shielding myself form her judgement. I bowed my head in shame; I never should have come back.  
>Something small clamped onto my shoulder, a hand, her voice came soft. "Don't go" her hand was gentle and my body without permission relaxed under her touch, it wasn't like me to relax around anyone, it was a precaution, I was always tense. After a while of standing like this she spoke again," im sorry" her hand retracked, i wanted to move, to leave her but i couldnt, my feet wouldnt follow as i comanded. <p>


	3. I have to show you something

He seemed broken, almost put together, but half of the puzzle pieces are missing. He had this shade in his golden eyes that i hadn't seen the night i met him, i saw this desperate side of him that was constantly looking for answers. For once in my life i understood someone, because he seemed to be hurting the way i hurt, because when i looked at him, i captured a part of myself inside his iris. My hand was so comfortable against his shoulder, i never wanted to take it away. His golden hair hung hiding his face from my side glances, it was strange not to recognize someone who had been explained to me thousands of times, his story had always fantasies me coming from his uncles lips, but looking at him now, felt strange and wrong. "I have something to show you." I finally choked out, knowing full well that what i had to show him, could very well break him or make him.

He clenched his fist and eased it, over and over, casting out his stress. He finally turned to me, nodding his head with an emotionless face that turned my skin cold. "come on" it was all i could say, i was frightened about what i was about to do to him. leading him to the shed i kept my paintings, i felt his eyes on my back, digging into me like i knew something i wasn't supposed to, did I? i Opened the shed doors wide and walked inside sneaking a glance back at him, who was starring at the many pieces surrounding the area, distracted.

While he wasn't looking i walked further in and walked to the one painting i thought he had to see, reaching for the artwork unseen under it's sheet i turned to find Jace standing over me with yellow orbs burning into me. he reached over still looking at me and grasped the white sheet, slowly taking it off as i became aware of how close he was to me. he finally turned his head to see the what his uncle had asked me to paint so long ago, i never turned away from Jace, never looked away. he face grew soft as he let out a sigh, "my parents" he whispered the words like he would be whipped for saying them. what felt like hours passed as he stared, when he finally turned to me, he had a faint smile, "thank you" he whispered.

"He asked me to paint it, i couldn't turn him down even if i had wanted to" i smirked, the wait of owning this image had been great, but holding it up now, it felt wait less. Jace laughed, knowing full well there was no saying "no" to his uncle.

"Your paintings have been the only kind of art that has spoke to me, i guess he knew that." He was looking around admiring his surroundings comfortably. "I always wanted to paint, but i never had the knack for it" was he making small talk? what a character you are Jace.

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><p>Short and sweet!<p> 


	4. I Asked You To Leave

I was going to call him on his, well attempt at small talk, when my phone went off. I dug into my jean pocket for the annoying disruption when I noticed Jace tense at the noise. I couldn't help but notice the sorrow that filled his eyes when he looked at the phone in my hand, I felt equally sorrowed when I checked the name, Jocelyn was calling me. I let out a sigh and hit ignore, making Jace look back at me with silent confusion written on his forehead. "Who's Jocelyn?" he asked. Great just the kind of verbal interaction I wanted to have.

"She's my mother" not really, I never thought of her like that, ever, we weren't even blood, I was just her bank. The gold rims of his eyes softened at the word "mother", his face had grown pale but he tried to hide it with a faint smile, it looked like it had become a habit, a safety built into his system. Suddenly I felt sick, like being punched in the gut, it hurt to see him so broken, so wrong inside, what is happening to me? I turned away from him pretending to have found interest in something else.

"I have never seen someone, heard someone, struggle on the word mother before" I hadn't even realized, even if I had, it just didn't make sense that he would even notice. He moved a little closer to me, and when I turned to look at him all I felt was the heat burning off his body and the intensity of his golden orbs. I began to nibble on my bottom lip, he was the first to ever question my relationship with Jocelyn, no one ever noticed anything, if they did they didn't care, what made him different? "I" he was suddenly cut off, by a car horn.

"Clary, where the hell are you and why didn't answer my call" my legs felt weak, and my heart began to race, Jocelyn was here. I mumbled a few swears and ran out of my shed feeling Jace close on my heels. I saw my mother at my side door, ramming her fist against the wood and calling to me, till she saw me and Jace coming towards her, a scowl that made her terribly unattractive stained on her product covered face. "Who the hell is that" I opened my mouth to tell her, but the bitch beat me to it. "Enough, I don't want a fucking excuse, send him off we have to talk, now. I will be inside" she opened my door and went inside slamming the door behind her.

I folded my arms across my chest like a shield and turned to Jace, trying to hide the fact I was shivering with slight fear. His fists were clenched and his jaw was tight, the fury was easily noted in his iris. "I'm not leaving" he stated his voice cold and strained.

"You have to" I started not fully understanding why, he was even trying. "Because I'm telling you to" he looked at me shocked, clearly he would never know why I was sending him away, mostly because I probably would never see him again, or the fact even if I did, I would never tell him. I walked away from him, turning my back on his glances. I went inside to face my mother.

Moments later I was sitting in my living room listening to Jocelyn as she paced in front of me telling me not to screen her calls, "after all I am your mother" she would say after every useless point she would make. For one last time I said I didn't hear my phone go off, but this time her reaction wasn't "that's no excuse" this time, she turned on me, pointing her finger at me like I had said she was a fat bitch. "No you didn't hear it, you were busy with that man,, what the hell were you doing in that shed with that low life" Jace was brought back into my mind, and I realized just how mad I was when she turned her accusations on Jace.

"What is that supposed to mean" I glared at her, staring straight into her eyes, hopping she would burst into flames.

"I always knew you would turn into a whore". This was the first time she had ever called me that, and it was crossing the line. She had made me crawl for to many years for me to take shit like that, I am no whore.

I stood on my feet making her step back a few steps and look at me confused, I gently pushed her finger away from my face and calmly spoke, "Get. Out. Of. My. House." Each word was its own sentence. Her hands went to her hips.

"What did you say to me" she asked like I was going to fall to my knees and beg for forgiveness, yeah right bitch. I pointed to the door.

"Leave and don't fucking come back."

"Are you kidding me?" she questioned.

"No" I walked to the door and opened it for her, knowing she would follow me "you're not my mother, you were never my mother, you haven't done anything but take the chance of having a real mother away from Me." She slapped me, it stung but not enough for me to care, it wasn't the first time she'd struck me after all. "Just leave" and she did, without another word. I didn't care though; I was looking at Jace, who was sitting on the porch next door staring at me, like I had just fell to the floor crying, I wanted to, oh I fucking wanted to so bad.


	5. Crying In My Arms

I waited, sitting on my porch, watching Clary's window, where I saw that women pacing toward the window and away, her mouth flying and her arms flailing. I had no doubt in my mind that this women was Clary's mother, however I was disgusted with her, because I knew her kind. She was that women who played perfect, covering her face with makeup and wearing the most expensive clothes even if she couldn't afford them, she didn't care about anyone around her playing the generous bitch in the open, but behind closed doors she was just the fucking bitch.

Abruptly Clary visitor stopped her pacing as her face grew red with rage; she stalked over to the direction I knew Clary had been at one point. I waited, gripping my fists in a painful manner, I needed to know what was happening, what Clary was hiding when she asked me to leave. The women backed up into the open sight of the window, an expression of disgust and slight shock filling her repulsive image. Clary walked past her, too fast to see her expression, making the other follow.

It wasn't long before they were standing at the side door, the door itself wide open as the two stood, Clary's back to me, while her visitor faced the door way. There was a sudden crack, as the women's hand rose and struck Clary's face, though she didn't move I myself felt the sting of the impact as I watched in horror. That sickening sound will forever follow me. The women left and Clary's body shifted towards me, imminently her weak and helpless gaze met mine. I couldn't bring myself to go to her, till her knees began to shake, till her face grew red, not until I realized just how hard she fought the tears, clearly struggling, slowly failing, and silently needing me.

I went to her, slowly at first, but picking up speed as she began to crumble, and just as she was about to fall I wrapped my arms securely around her, clamping her arms to her chest and letting her head rest in the crook of my neck. She began to quiver, trying to hold back her sobs, but I felt the dampened skin on my neck. "Clary" I whispered, bringing my hand to the top of her head to support her.

"Why did you stay" she asked with a shaky voice that was surly leaving her. She had this tone that told me no one had ever held her like this, she seemed grateful but timid.

"Because you didn't want me to leave, I could hear it in your voice." Her hands pinned to my chest grasped my shirt tightly, trying to hold onto me, like I was going to leave her, but I don't think I wanted to, the thought hadn't even accrued to me. Finally her wait became too much for her lifeless legs and we slowly shrunk to the floor just inside her door, I closed the door and shifted to hold my back against the wall to support are weight as we regressed to the hard wooden surface.

"You don't even know me" she wined as she gave, letting the tears flood from her, soaking the neckline of my cotton shirt. She was right I didn't know her, I didn't know her birthday, age, her dreams, but I knew she needed me, and this was only the beginning of what I would learn about her. I wanted to know everything, so I told her.

"I will". I watched as Clary let out her chokes and howls, the calls easing at a speed that felt almost passive, but they stopped and all I felt was the calming breath of Clary and every so often, a sniffle, but nothing more. I held her, comforting her for what I knew, and what I didn't. All I knew was a broken girl lay against my body, not just any girl either, Clary.

It was laying here now that I realized I was starting to care for someone again. His words rang inside my head, the unmentionable word that drove me to my own breaking point the first time. The quote my uncle had always taught me to live by, the one thing that had always distanced me from people, when had that stopped? Was it in that bar that night that I let my guard down, or was it when I ran to her rescue after hearing her in distress?

It was then that I fell asleep in a strangers home, on the floor, with my clothes on, this was a first for me.

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><p>OK, i know its short, But its about quality not quantity, right?<p>

I love this chapter to death, so I had to post it as soon as I was done.

I have one request from you guys.

REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!

- The Black Tattoo.


	6. I Can't, Can I?

Normally when I wake up in the morning, I hear silence, but this morning the soft sound of a man's snore, carried me gently away from my dreams. I felt strong arms wrapped around my waist, holding me into an iron hard body with an easy breathing chest. When I opened my eyes to check my theory, I found myself looking at a sleeping Jace, myself perched on his lap and cradled into his lazed arms, I had enjoyed his nook. His head rested against the wall, pinning his curls in an awkward mess, it suited him. His nose was scrunched, pinching his cheeks at the bone, his teeth were clenched, his jaw straight and his mouth held an unpleasant from, he was dreaming.

I watched him sleep, scared, I wasn't supposed to let people in, I was supposed to be closed off, why am I letting him get close? From that moment I met him in the bar, I knew something had changed in me, but that doesn't mean I like it, how could I trust him? He was the spitting Image of a heart breaker, a flake, that person who stops to say hello and is gone before you can even respond, but why was he still here, why had he bothered to wait. His ego, his smile, everything was burning into my head, and every time he looked at me with those golden orbs, I just wanted to break down and release myself from this unmistakable hollow feeling of loneliness, but I cant. I felt betrayed, violated by his presence in my home, by his comforting, he may not have meant me harm, couldn't possibly had meant any harm, but in its own way, his help had hurt me. Emotionally I was unavailable, all my emotions were poured into paintings, and I didn't spare any feelings for anyone. I was cold inside.

As if shoot, Jace's body flinched violently and I had to wrap my arms around his neck to catch myself before I fell. His arms tightened around me, hugging me close as he caught his breath. When I looked back at him, his caring eyes were now open, but they were full of fear and doubt, it wasn't the Jace he let on, but I never fell for the perfect guy act, he was broken and I will always know it. "Morning" he lightly smiled, trying to hide his speeding heart, but I felt it.

"morning", I couldn't help the fact that I was staring at him, he wasn't even looking away, we were holding each other's eyes, both wondering if I will ask what had happened to him, and god I wanted to. He had just walked into my life, seen a mild fight with my mother, that I had won, for now, but she will be back, when it suits her. He comforted me through the night, holding me, when I barley let others touch me without the help from alcohol. So why wouldn't I ask him, I had every right to an answer; he owed me an answer, the way I saw it.

"Will you tell me about your dream" he held his breath, and tensed, the relaxation melting from his skin. I knew from his silence he was uncomfortable with the subject, and I felt a tug of guilt, but I was going to stand by with my choice, I wanted to know, no matter how small it was, I wanted to know something. Even if he was trying to hide it, he wasn't going to get away with it. "Was it a nightmare?" I asked him softly, hopping for something, anything, a nod, just an acknowledgement, but he gave me nothing. "Jace, please, just tell me" I somewhat pleaded

He let out his breath harshly, "what does it matter" he mumbled, moving his arms away from me, he tore his watchful glance hence and grew distant from me. When he looked back in my direction, I was robbed of his eyes, he had them closed, hiding from me, or hiding me. Trying to find the lost Jace, I moved my hands to the front of his hair and ran my fingers through it, combing the strands as I admired it, losing myself as his sorrow filled eyes opened. I felt him become close, his lips flouting near my own, and his warm breath stinging my skin. He closed the distance kissing me softly, begging me to respond with his motions, and I did. It was so wrong, it had been so long since I had contact with someone who I had wanted to spend more than one night with, I was getting attached with him, and even as the kiss deepened and his hand held my head I couldn't pull away, but I couldn't believe in what I was doing. I could barely pay attention to what he was doing, every touch, every moment was pure response. I couldn't take the confusion anymore, so I detached myself from him, turning my head away.

"You need to leave" I just whispered, and he stared down at me in shock, I felt belittled, so I stood, "you have to leave". I put my back to him, hearing the sound of cloth on cloth as he stood lingering behind me, his body heat burning my back even though we weren't touching.

"Why are you always sending me away?" he seemed almost frustrated, but I sensed the hurt in his tone. I didn't know what to say to him, I knew if I told him I was scared he would understand, but he wouldn't leave, just try to convince me he wasn't going to hurt me. He wasn't the type to give up easy, but neither was I.

"Because, I can't" my voice was a soft mummer, I couldn't tell him why, or even what it was that I couldn't do, because of the consequences. Continuing what was happening would mean, putting myself out on the line and getting nothing in return, but always hopping. If that made me selfish, I guess that's what you could call it. He would have to carry what I have held up inside me, being as broke as he is; he would probably fall under the pressure with no one to help but a struggling me.

"What is that supposed to mean" anger was flooding him; I sensed the sting before it even reached my nerves. Then the memories, the things I had been blocking out came rushing back in a second, becoming clear in my mind. The vivid images of my mother's angry boyfriend flinging me across the room, screaming insults and violent observations, all in my fit about my mother's "whore life" as he had called it. I stepped away from Jace turning to him, sure of the vulnerable look on my face from the sight of his guilt. He grew calm, releasing his fists from there death grip at his sides. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean" he trailed off his tone weak.

"Just go please" I begged. He stood there confused for a moment, then grabbing for the door handle and swinging it open and slamming it closed behind him.

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><p>Ok so its been a while since i uploaded something, for that i apologize but i have been a bit busy. i hope you enjoyed to chapter, and i will hope you review, rate, do what ever it is you do. have a nice day!<p>

-The Black Tattoo


	7. You Have To Back

Sitting in the bar I met her, I tried to figure her out. Her fiery hair and green eyes that drew me in had been burned into my brain since the moment I met her, but if I had wanted to I could have forgotten her, had I not heard the soft flow of her guarded voice and blocked emotions. No women had ever told me to leave, I made them leave, but I wanted to stay with her, I wanted to hold her, but I did something I should not have.  
>" hey, you want anything else?" the lone bartender asked me while he typically dried off a glass, like in the movies. He was lean and tall with black hair and a scruffy chin, I knew him from the many times I came into the Bar to pick up a women. It was strange of him to talk to me, he tried to avoid me most times I came in here, but it was clear why he asked when I looked around the room, the place was empty except for the two of us.<br>"another beer?" I asked.  
>" you know its going to be ages before anyone else comes in, you know the girls don't normally come till late anyway, why are you sticking around?" he mumbled as he reached under the Bar and handed me another "alpine". He leaned back against the counter behind him, crossing his Arms with a board look on his face.<br>" just thinking" I took a big gulp of beer, looking over the bottle to see him raising an eye brow at me. " if you have something to say, your welcome to say it, I promise not to go mad and attack you" I smirked at him.  
>"What could possibly drive you to stop thinking about whoring yourself, how could A rich ladies man like you be so troubled he will sit in silence and not even hit on the one woman who came in here for a bottle of water? It's as if you didn't even care when she obviously wanted your attention" he didn't ask rudely, but curiously.<br>" seems to me like you know me quite well" I took another sip of my beer, " exactly how much attention do you pay to me while I'm here?" are eyes leveled with each others.  
>" probably too much, but in my defense, your in here almost every night picking up any girl you want, except last time you were here I happen to notice you lift alone, sex didn't appear to be on your mind."<br>" dear god, tell me your not going to give me advise about my troubles like every bartender stereo type, says you will?" he rolled his eyes at my sheltered comment.  
>" what can i say, you interest me." I found myself lost in his blue eyes that studied every part of me, digging into my skin trying to uncover the mystery beyond it like i was simply a sandwich he wished to know the contents of. " so what was her name?"<br>" who are you talking about?" I asked as though I was somewhat annoyed, but I wasn't.  
>" the red head you were talking to that night, she was quite pretty?" my heart skipped a beat, an image of her passed through my mind as I tried to shake it away with another swig of beer<br>" what makes you think I got her name, why would I have even bothered?" saying such cruel things suddenly hurt, and as I looked down at the counter, I listened to the soft sound of the mans snicker.  
>"well normally when I man is trying to get a woman to his bed, he doesn't sit and laughs with her, he plays sad tricks like whispering sweet things into her ear and buying her drinks, you however just sat with her staring at her, laughing and talking as you smiled sincerely." he reached beneath the bar and grabbed himself a beer, which he surely was not supposed to do since he was working. I sat stunned and silent for a moment, taking this mans words into question. Why had I acted so differently?<br>"why does it matter?" I mumbled  
>"do you recognize me Jace?" he said sipping his beer. I looked at him unsure, I had thought when I first saw him he was oddly familiar but thought nothing of it. " my names Alec. We went to high school together, you would make fun of me for being gay!" he shifted his eyes at me, slight resentment visible in then.<br>"so my past still chases me? What do you want, an apology? I can't tell you how awful I feel for the things I have done, I'm not a good person but do not take it personally I'm an asshole to many people, for stupid reasons, I don even care that your gay." amusement appeared in his eyes, clearly he was enjoying this. " what?" my irritation was clear in my tone.  
>"That girl the other night? Her name was Clary Fray, right?" my mouth dropped.<br>"how do you know that?"  
>" we went to school with her; she was in my homeroom, always had he sketch book out. She comes in here and draws every once in a while, the most beautiful artist I have ever seen." he stopped for a moment and his eyes grew sad then, "I remember bumping into her at school one day, I bent to help her get her books and I noticed something, she had this bruise on her arm, you could just see the tip of it, but it wasn't hard to tell that it was made by someone grabbing he arm. I never did anything, I should have said something, but I was scared, now I can never forget that moment, the moment I realized why she was so sheltered." I felt suddenly angry at both myself and him.<br>"you were scared? Could you not have imagined how she may of felt, how scared she was?" I pressed my hands into the table.  
>"I was a child, scared of his god damn shadow, scared of people like you. However seeking you here all these times, I realized you were just frightened of me, you were the one who was afraid, you just needed to act like you were in control, because all these years your emotions have been rotting away." I stayed silent, it was strange that he knew me so well, that it took him all this time to say anything, or even the fact that I was actually sorry for the cruelty I had towards him.<br>"why are you just telling me who you are now?" I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding.  
>"I never got a chance to help Clary in high school, but I have a feeling that I have a chance now. When you came in here you sat there and stared at the table you two sat at, three hours later and here we are and you only on your second beer. Something happened to make you come here to think about her, what was it?" I stared at the man who had walked towards me suddenly standing over me , the counter separating us.<br>"yesterday, I went to my uncles house I was going to check and see if it was alright to move into. I was standing outside staring at the place when I heard a woman scream next door, I ran to help her and it was Clary. She was fine, shocked to see me, then she figured out who I was, she knew my uncle, he talked about me. She showed me a painting she did for my uncle, it was of my parents. Then her mother came." my hands became fists on the desk, as I fought to stay calm, Alec looked at me knowingly. "she treated her like shit, putting her down. Clary asked me to leave, walking into her home to talk with her mother, I didn't leave I just waited, then they came outside yelling at each other, she slapped Clary and Clary forced her to leave, and when she left Clary looked at me and broke down. I held her all night in the middle of her hallway. Then I kissed her and something changed and she distanced from me, she pleaded for me to leave." I chugged the last of my beer putting it on the counter with a load bang. He stood there his head bowed and his hands gripping the gold colored poll attached to he bar.  
>" you have to go back." he said calmly.<br>"she didn't want me there" the disappointment was clear my tone.  
>"Jace" he looked up at me, his eyes filled with sadness. "go back" I stared at him, "now, don't worry about the drinks, there free"<br>" you can't do that, can you?"  
>"I own the place"<br>I grabbed my jacket and my helmet, and let the building that had a new meaning to me. I would come back here, to ask Alec if he would consider forgiving me for what I have done, and become the first friend I have had in years.  
>Ten minuets later I was standing on Clary's porch waiting in the rain, I was soaked and cold from the ride over here on my Harley, but it didn't matter right now.<br>She answered the door in plaid pajama pants and a green tank that matched her eyes. Still beautiful. "Jace? What are you doing?" I listened to the concern flow easy in her voice.  
>" I can't even begin to tell you. I came here because I don't understand, but I want to. I want to know you, I want you to trust me, to feel comfortable with me. I'm not a good guy, in fact I'm a terrible human being who makes the wrong decisions all the time, but I want to make the right one with you, because if I don't I may just regret it for the rest of my life. It's wrong of me to ask you this, I can't even imagine what this is like for you, but I want you to show me. I will do anything, just let me be a friend to you Clary." i could make out the plea in my voice, all my feeling were just pouring out.<br>And that moment felt like the longest second of my life, I had to stand there, in the rain, waiting for something anything. Her eyes her cloudy an her hair was curvy and wild, some of it had been covering her face. She looked at the ground nibbling in her bottom lip, the only notice was the patter of rain drops.  
>"Jace"<p>

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><p>So an apology is in order you the wait, My computer has been Broken for the last month and half, so i ended up writing this chapter on my ipod. I will be publishing again as soon as i can and i will try to make up for the wait. so i hope you like this chapter, Review and let me know<p>

-The Black Tattoo


	8. Just One Week

"Jace" she whispered, the look of sorrow was all over her face, the distance of her seemed so impossibly far, that I wanted to reach to her, to just grab hold so she didn't drift any further away from me, from the world that seemed to attack her. I knew I couldn't touch her, I knew it would wreck everything I was working for, but I could never forget the soft touch of her lips, the light feel of her body cradled into my arms, the laugh that burned my face till I couldn't help but smile. "What if I can't do that, what if I can't accept you?" she asked staring up at the sky, refusing to match my stare. It's not like people had ever accepted me before, people accepted what wasn't me, I had never tried like I we trying now.  
>That was no reason to give up.<br>"For years of my life, I told people my parents left me because they didn't love me; I defiled my parent's memory, because I was afraid people would call me a coward for hiding from the man who killed my parents, for just watching them die. I couldn't face the music so I lied about my parents. I walked the streets, like I didn't give a crap about anything. I do care; I care way too much for my own damn good." I bowed my head letting the rain hide the fallen tear on my cheek, fighting back the lump in my throat. She just leaned against the door frame and stuck her hand out to feel the water, I watched her through my hair, pulling it back out of my face before I spoke again. "Don't act like you don't care, I know you do, you have been waiting for someone to care about you for a long time, and I care. You can't pretend with me Clary."  
>Her eyes met mine, fear present beyond danger. "What do you want from me"? Her voice was icy and tired.<br>"Give me one week to prove to you, I'm capable of being your friend, if at the end of the week you don't want anything to do with me, I will leave and you won't have to see me again. If you think you can deal with it we can work from there."  
>I almost thought she wouldn't answer, but then she did. "Fine, but promise me you're not lying!" her green globs met my stare; the gentleness in her seemed to be covered in this protection, so if I looked even close to lying, she would slam the door in my face<br>"I swear on my angel" I said strong and proud.  
>"What do you mean angel, who's your angel? "She asked. There was something about the way that she asked that told me, she didn't believe in heaven or hell, I didn't, but growing up my mom always reminded me of an angel. The ones that always saw the good in anyone, who loved everyone and didn't believe in war.<br>"My mother" I turned around and walked away from the open door, walked away from any question she may have about my mother.

I Watched Jace drive away on his bike, the noise disappearing into night. I turned and closed the door walking into my living room to sit on my couch. The open yearbook still sitting to the page that told me I had known him once, maybe not him, I knew the nickname they called to him down the halls, "J" I whispered to myself remembering the name out load. I had never known him, for who he was, and probably few did, but I knew that people were afraid of him then. He knew how to fight, knew how to make someone pay for crossing him. The question was how much of that was true. "I'm not a good guy" his words rang through my head, reminding me that it was a huge leap, off a cliff, with him being my only life line.  
>I knew I was looking for reasons to not want to know him, but I did, it was wrong of me to accept someone so quickly. He made me challenge what I had pictured my life to be, like the idea wasn't realistic anymore. Growing up alone, an artist, in a quiet home, just didn't seem to cut it anymore, and it was all because of him. I could ask myself why, over and over again, but I won't ever find the answer I'm looking for.<br>I had spent so many years in my life alone, not one friend since elementary. Simon, god I missed him, he was always there even if he was too young to understand why I was afraid to go home every day after school, why I could never go to his birthday parties, or read comics with him at the park. He told me once; no matter where he was he was always with me that was before he left. He never came back, and I never saw him again. Perhaps Simon Lewis forgot about me, but I could never forget him.  
>I looked over at the framed picture I had of the two of us on my 8th birthday that was sitting on my bookshelf. His sister had taken it while we walked; they had offered to walk me home. My step father had yelled at me that night because he saw them, telling me I was already a whore Like my mother, I told him Simon was my friend. I could never forget what he said then, "You don't have friends. No one gives a shit about you, not me, not your whore mother and not that pathetic piece of shit kid. No one will ever care about you" fuckin bastard!<br>The next day Simon brought me that picture in a frame as a birthday present. He had been my friend, he had cared, and because of the one thing he gave me, I survived. I remember taking the image everywhere I went, holding it at night, because it was my one connection to world.  
>Maybe having another friend could make me stronger. Perhaps Jace, the broken boy, and me, could find some comfort.<p>

Together.

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><p>So I hope you all are reading or have read "city of lost souls", I'm still reading mine, I'm trying to make it last long. In honor of its release I'm uploading this chapter as quick as I can, it's not long I know, but this story seems to be nicer with shorter paragraph's.<p>

So I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Tell me what you think of me starting to introduce some of the other characters, and what you think of the week Clary is giving Jace, really any thoughts or questions you have, give em up!

I want some REVIEWS peoples!

Have a nice day Guys XD

-The Black Tattoo


	9. Starting The New, With The Old

"Hello?" I called into the empty house, the smell of must and beer still present as it had been when I lived here. The house felt empty and cold, and with each couscous step into what had been my hell hole for my whole childhood, a new smell slowly became known to me. The sent was foul and intrusive, it made me ill to be near it, but still I drug on into the old home despite my fears.  
>I tuned into the old living room, noticing the seat he used to sit in day in and day out was empty before I completely came into the room. A feeling of relief had found me for a moment, but just a moment because it was that moment that the rotten smell was given a source, on the couch opposite of his chair lay the beaten body of a girl. Blood black and dried, her arm draped over the side of the couch, face down with dead and now colorless hair falling over her, her skin looked cold and pale. I couldn't see her face but I felt like I knew her, but who I thought she was, was completely impossible. How could she be me, when I was right here?<br>A creak came from behind me and I felt him over me. with his breath beside my ear, he whispered "Welcome home sunshine"  
>I shot up off my couch to the sound of my phone bussing on the table. I rushed to pick it up, slightly dazed from my nightmare. "hello?" I groggily asked into the phone, wondering who the hell was calling.<br>"Oh shit did i wake you? It's Jace, I was calling to see if you wanted to grab lunch?" lunch? How long was I asleep. I looked over at my clock and saw that it was already passed 12.  
>"Sure why not, do you want me to meet you someplace?" I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and lied back onto the couch<br>"No I can just drive you, that is if you don't mind going on my bike?", I heard a crash in the background and him mutter a curse. I almost laughed.  
>"You alright?"<br>"I'm fine, I just knocked over what looked to be a very expensive vase. My uncle is probably screaming at me from hell now, telling me to treat his stuff with more respect", his uncles stuff?  
>"what are you doing with his stuff?" I got up off the couch and walked out into my kitchen and grabbed a glass of water, leaning out over the sink to look outside. The evening sun lit the street with an light breeze to accompany it. I always wanted to live in a peacefully place like this.<br>"I'm fixing up his place, it's pretty clean considering how long it's been empty" he laughed lightly, trailing off. "He didn't change a thing after I left, nothing."  
>"That's because there was nothing to change." he fell silent suddenly, just the sound of his breathing. "Jace?"<br>there was a knock at my door. I rushed to get it, and when the door opened, there stood Jace in a dark black leather jacket and a charcoal shirt with worn jeans that hugged him perfectly. A vision of him from last night appeared, his wet golden hair in the moon light that illuminated his struggling eyes that fought back emotions with every moment. He was new again, smirking in fresh clothes with messy dry hair, but his eyes never changed. "You ready to go? I'm sure people will love the whole I just got out of bed look, cute pj's by the way" ,his smirk grew as I rolled my eyes.  
>"just give me a minute to change" he nodded clearly thinking about something, but not caring to mention it. "you can come in if you want" I turned around and left the door open and starting walking towards my room.<br>I changed as fast as I could putting on a fresh pair of jeans an a plain white shirt with a grey unzipped hoodie. When I came back out of my room I found Jace standing in the living room with the yearbook open in his hands. I watched him for a moment, sorrow on his face and slight Anger in the way he set his strong jaw. "I see you found the yearbook." I said casually to get his attention, he immediately relaxed as his eyes met mine.  
>"And I thought nobody bought these yearbooks ." he mumbled.<br>"Clearly! Did you know we went to high school together?" He seemed somewhat surprised I asked.  
>"Not till someone told me, high school is really more of a blur then anything" he smiled to himself knowingly. He was so foreign to me, the way he talked and thought, how could one forget four years of their lives?<br>"Who told you?"  
>He walked over to me and set the book down on the desk that held my laptop. "You will see soon enough. You ready to go?"<br>"Yeah, sure" A part of me was filled with questions about who could possibly remember me and had seen me with Jace, but I let myself just shut up and stop thinking.  
>I followed him as he walked out the door and over to his bike parked in the driveway next door. He lifted the seat and grabbed a green helmet from beneath it and handed it to me. "Have you ever been on a motorcycle before" , I shook my head. " Put that helmet on and get on behind me" he got on the bike and I did as he directed, watching him turn to me and say "hold on to me tightly" he put his helmet on and started the bike as I laced my arms around him . Before I could even rethink what I was doing the bike started to move speeding up as we road onto the street, this rush of fear and excitement shoot through my veins. This feeling took over me, this amazing, intoxicating feeling that I was doing something dangerous, but I felt safe even with the racing speed and loud motor roaring, I felt safer then I had for a long time. I must be out of my mind.<br>We finally slowed down and pulled into a familiar parking lot. My head lifted from the spot it had been on Jace's back and saw the sign for the place we were, 'The Institute' , it was the bar we had met at. I took my helmet off and looked questionably at Jace as he did the same. He turned to me, "They serve a mean club" he smirked watching me get off the bike. I watched his graceful body move from the bike as I followed. We went inside and sat down at a table in a corner of the empty bar. "There's something I want to ask you, I just don't know how to", I watched him fiddle with his hand staring down at them as he messed with a silver ring in his finger. "do you remember much from high school" he questioned.  
>"I was invisible in high school I did my work, didn't start anything, I was a ghost in the halls."<br>His head moved to look at the bartender as he came in through the back, and he nudged his head towards us, telling him to come over.  
>"You weren't invisible" I just looked at him confused. "Alec, I want you to meet Clary Fray" I looked over at the man who was now standing over our table with a pen and notepad. His hair was black and fine and he was tall with a lean build, when are glances met I found cold blue eyes and a well angled face with a stubble covered chin.<br>"Evening Clary, I don't suppose you remember me?", his tone was smooth and strong with a confident ease. In a way he did seem familiar, but I couldn't place him, I only really knew him as the guy who poured my drinks.  
>"I'm sorry, I'm afraid I can't" he nodded his head smiling.<br>He stuck his hand out towards me "My name is Alec Lightwood, we went to the same high school together and Spent four years in the same homeroom" I took his hand and shook it lightly. I did recognize him, he was the boy who was tormented by everyone for being gay. "now you remember, don't you?" he winked at me and I caught myself smiling up at him. My eyes flickered to Jace, and I notice he was looking at Alec with regret all over his face. "So you guys looking for something to eat?" he asked taking his hand back and crossing his arms.  
>"Of course" Jace smiled slyly, I remember how he reminded of a lion on the prowl, pouncing for what he wants.<br>"Well here's the menu" he reached into the clothe holder he wore with jeans and a red button up shirt with the cuffs pushed up to just behind his elbows. He dropped a paper onto the table, "Can I get you guys something to drink?". Jace raised an eyebrow at me.  
>"I'm fine with just a water"<br>"Alpine?"  
>"Be back in a few." he turned on his heel and walked over to the bar.<br>Jace moved to look at me, handing me the menu, "so what looks good?". I skimmed the menu only finding one thing that stuck out.  
>"Did you say the club was good?" I asked peering over at him. A smile that could render a child blind spread over his face.<br>"It's like your taste buds are falling in love." he wiggled his eye brows at me.  
>"I bet you taste buds cheat" I commented.<br>"It's more of an open relationship then anything to be honest, because really, no one can resist this" he motioned to himself as i laughed lightly.  
>"I can" i challenged him. He squinted at me as his mouth fell from its set smirk.<br>"Easier said then done".  
>Alec was suddenly over us with are drinks "So what can I get you guys?" I nodded to Jace.<br>"Two clubs" Jace winked at him, what was it with men and winking? You would think its apart of some secret language. I drifted off into my own thoughts about what it could possibly be, when I felt someone staring at me. Alec had left and i was sitting alone with Jace, his eyes burning into my face with an emotion I didn't recognize. "You know that what makes artists unique?" I let out a breath, shaking my head slightly. "It's the way they think, they can flout away and only focus on one thing, instead of the distractions from the rest of the world over taking them. They are capable of beautiful things because there minds are unmistakably beautiful".  
>Something about the way he looked at me reminded me of the way I had seen him with Alec. "Earlier you were looking at Alec like you regret something, did something happen?" he let out a deep breath not moving his gaze away, he almost seemed disappointed i had asked.<br>"I told you before I'm not a good guy, I've done cruel things to fit in. When we were in high school I picked On Alec, made fun of him, I practically tormented him." I knew people were afraid of him then, but I hadn't realized he had done such things. However Alec seemed to have forgiven him.  
>"How did you make it up to him?" he smirked a bit, probably at the memory.<br>"I don't think I will ever fix what I did, Alec's a good guy who dissevered better but he's selfless enough to forgive me, even if I didn't do anything to disserve it." he watched the door to what I guessed was where Alec had went, probably a kitchen. The concern for Alec's past falling from his body. He got up suddenly and went to the door knocking on it. When Alec i merged, Jace said something that I couldn't hear and Alec nodded and went back inside. I studied Jace as he walked back towards me, graceful and adroit.  
>"What?" I interrogated Slightly, I was curious.<br>"You will see, trust me.", and there it was, the request I feared he would ask of me. As of he knew what I was thinking he tried to comfort m with a light smile and whispered "You won't regret it Clary".  
>It wasn't much longer that our food came in a brown take out bag and me and Jace fought over who was going to pay, but letting him pay when he said, "Money doesn't matter to me, I have enough to buy two lifetimes over". If anyone else had told me money didn't matter to them I wouldn't have believed them, but If I knew anything about this man, it was that he was looking for a reason to live, a purpose, and money didn't give him that.<br>Minutes later we were walking towards an abandoned farm house just off the highway outside of the city, his bike parked on the side of the road and the bag that held our food in his hand. We hasn't said a word to each other since we left the Bar.  
>when we reached the house, I saw it was in rather good condition, it was obvious that no one had been living here, but someone had been doing work on it. It was old with new windows, fresh roofing and a new door that clashed with the old siding that was starting to peel. Jace nudged his shoulder into mine, and when I looked at him he gestured towards a ladder, silently telling me to climb up. Without even thinking twice, I did it, listening to his climb behind me I felt a sense of security.<br>It was one of the most beautiful sites I had ever seen. A field of grain that swayed with the wind, a rocky beach just over a light hill and a larger hill in the distance with a fence of leafy trees of green.  
>I felt Jace's body towering over me from behind, the heat of him burning my back as I stared off into the open space. "When I was a teenager" he voice suddenly broke out from the silence, "I got mad and I just started biking, not sure if I planned on going back home. I found this place, and I sat up here from hours, just thinking." His tone was soft and calm, nurturing even. "I came here every day after that, everyday after school whether I biked walked or drove, I came no matter what." he was so close I felt his breath at the top of my head.<br>"It's amazing" I breathed.  
>"I thought you would see what some can't" I turned around and stepped back from him, looking up at his dawning survey.<br>I felt a comfortable laugh tickle up my throat, "You couldn't possibly be trying to tell me that you brought someone here who didn't appreciate  
>this view, its magnificent!"<br>A smirk now on his face, "No, since your the only person who has been here, I think everyone I brought did enjoy it quite well.", then why change that now?  
>"Why wouldn't you, didn't you ever want to bring a girlfriend here, you know woo her?" he set the food down on the roof and sat down looking towards the field with a leg tucked under the other as he put his weight onto the palms of his hands at his sides.<br>"This was my place to think, I didn't want to remember a time when I acted like someone else. This place is about me being purely Jace Wayland" I sat down beside him bringing my knees to my check, crossing my arms on there tops and resting my chin on my arms.  
>"Then why did you bring me here?" He started un packing The food and handing me a tin plate covered in foil and a bottle of water.<br>"Because when I'm with you, I'm me."

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><p>Alright, This may be the last chapter for a bit, I have Exams coming up with the awesome add-on's of final projects, However i will keep trying to write when i can.<p>

I hope you all liked this Chapter! Anything you want to know or ask I'm willing to answer, but i want REVIEWS PEOPLE, it makes my day and makes me a better author when i read what you have to say.

If you happen to notice any errors just send me a message telling me and i will fix them as soon as i get a chance, thank you.

- The Black Tattoo


	10. Any Father Would Be Lucky To Have You

Alone with you Chapter 10

" Because when I'm with you, I'm me."

She sat there, just being there as my words sunk in. Her mouth opened, Then close as she struggled fighting for something to say. Suddenly her eyes closed, shutting down my connection to her soul, locking me away. When they reappeared before me, I saw something amazing, I saw a trust I had only seen from her few times. Then her lips moved, "Your uncle loved you, he knew you for who you are, and no matter what he told you about love, I swear he loved you" how would she know?

"What do you know about what he told me, how much did he tell you." if she was surprised I asked, she certainly didn't show it.

"Everything I think, he told me about the the night he came into room, the first time you dreamed of your parents death, and what he whispered in your ear." she let out a breath. " He regretted it. He told me over and over that he wished he could tell you something different"

"What else did he tell you about me" I smirked at her, it sounded like I was curious, but I really just wanted to change the subject.

"Well he told me about your freakishly clean habits, and how you haven't slept passed dawn since you were eleven. He also liked to tell me about this look you get when you fight, he said I make a similar face when I paint, one of determination.", I watched her smile and laugh as she talked, thinking back to a memory.

"He always wanted a daughter, I'm glad he had one when I wouldn't be here for him, I should have been here." there was almost no cover to the guilt I felt, but it wasn't like she didn't know I felt guilty.

"I was just someone to talk too, he didn't think that highly of me." , she nibbled on her bitten lip

"I'm sure he did, any father would be lucky to have you as a daughter" I watched her body tense as she turned away from me, a look of pain passing over her face as she did so. She tried to hide it from me, but she couldn't, I saw it.

We sat in silence, eating our food. I couldn't get her reaction out of my

head, I felt as though I had said something wrong, but I didn't see a connection with the words.

"Jace, do you think you could take me home" I looked over at her, her gaze still set on the view before us.

"Sure" i replied without hesitation.

I drove her home all the while struggling to concentrate with her arms wrapped tightly around my waist. When we pulled up into her driveway I watched her get off the bike, her helmet now off and in her hands. I took off my helmet and met her eyes as she spoke, "Jace, you don't know me, I haven't told you anything about myself, but you still tell me very personal things. Why?" she was clearly nervous to ask.

"Because I'm ready to tell someone, I don't need anything in return, i could live without knowing if I had to", she nibbled on her bitten lip staring down at me as I just sat there, watching her for a response, she gave acceptance. "Can I see you tomorrow, Clary?" I asked gently.

"Sure, just come over, I will probably be home all day" she said as she crossed her arms over her chest and took a step away from the bike, giving my enough room to pull out.

"I will see you soon" I whispered lightly as I pulled my helmet over my head and drove off. leaving Clary standing in her Driveway, staring after me.

...

"Hey, is Alec here?" I ask to the bartender who now took over Alec's regular day shift.

"No, sorry man" he responded

"Do you know where I can find him?"

He shook his head, "All I know is that he went to see his sister an her fiance, nothing about where they went"

"Do you have a number I can call him on, I have something really important to ask him"

"Sure man" be reached for his pad an paper and wrote down a number.

"Thank you" I dropped a twenty onto the bar as I took the number from him . I walked out into the empty parking lot and dialed the number with my cell.

It rang a few times before Alec's voice came through the device "Hello?"

"Hey" I smirked knowing he had no idea who was calling.

"Who's this?" he asked.

"Jace, your god"

"Jace, how the hell did you get my number?" I heard a female voice in the background mumble something that I couldn't quite make out.

"Your bartender hooked me up"

"Well whatever it is you need, it will have to wait. I'm with my sister, you know the one who threatened to rip off you testicles in high school." I tried to remember her name, smirking to myself as it popped into my head.

"Oh Izzy? Ask her if she missed her favorite gym partner"

"By the look on her face Jace, I can assure you, she didn't miss you. Just tell me what it is you need, before she rips me to shreds to find your whereabouts"

"Tell that fucking pervert-" the rest of her words were muffled and I couldn't help but chuckle. Isabelle Lightwood always made me laugh, mostly because she was so fun to tease.

But then I remembered why I was calling, and my mission was brought to light once again. "Alec, I need to know about the bruise to saw on Clary back then"

"What about it, it was just a bruise that looked a lot like a hand print."

"I know, but I want to know how big the bruise was, did it look like the size of a woman's hand, or a mans."

The other end of the phone was silent for a second. "Jace, if I remember right, it was defiantly a man or a woman with freakisly big hands who made that bruise" my heart stopped, I had hoped I would be wrong, but my hunch was correct. "Jace, you alright?"

"I'm fine, thanks for the help Alec, tell Isabelle I'm sorry for being such an ass and congratulations on being engaged. I have to go. " I hung up before he could respond.

Was it true, was Clary abused by her father and her mother?

...

I sat on the couch in my living room, drowning down a bottle of vodka as I tried to push away the memories of him. The memories of his snear, his horrifying laugh, his fisted hands as he beat me over and over. I took another swig from the bottle, than remembering the first time he came into my room.

I stood up abruptly from the couch, stumbling, with the bottle tightly gripped in my hand. I stared down at the couch remembering how many times he had done this how many times had he sat around wallowing with a drink in his hand till there was nothing left? I was just like him, I just didn't have anyone to abuse.

I turned and swung the bottle into the wall, listening as it shattered and fell to the floor. Cursing under my breath I lost my footing and stumbled to the floor to my knees ,the world lost to me. I just pushed it all away, everything and everyone. I lost my balance and my hands went shot in front of me to stop me from falling face first. Glass cut into my hands digging under the skin as my weight pressed down on the fragments. I didn't move, I just let the pain punish me, let it take me away as a warm substance filled my touch.

Day Two

I knocked on Clary's door around one in the afternoon. As time passed no red head had appeared before me. Her car was here, so she had to be. I tried calling her but she wouldn't answer, so I opened the unlocked door and walked in calling her name "Clary, you here?"

I turned into the living room to find a sight, I never thought I would see from Clary. There was glass scattered all over the room, the stink of liguor, smeared blood painted to the wooden planks, and Clary lying on the floor next to the couch half covered in a blanket half exposing a half naked chest. I noticed her white shirt across the room with bloody hand prints covering it.

I rushed over to Clary, shaking her shoulder, she reeked of alcohol. She opened her eyes, slight tears rimming her red eyes, there was pain all over her face. "Where are you hurt?" from beneath the blanket her hands moved out to be seen, the palms were covered in deep cuts, glass still shining in her skin in some places. I let out a sigh and met Clary's glance again, "Just relax, I'll take care of it". I reached over her and pushed the blanket off and snaked my right arm under her jean covered knees and my left just below her arms, angling my hand to grip her shoulder opposite of the one closest to me. I stood up bringing her body up into mine.

I walked out of the living room and further down the hallway till I found a bathroom. It was small with just a shower, sink, cabinet and toilet. I set Clary down beside the toilet, under a window and went for the cabinet. Inside was a variety of things, I found some Advil, polysporin, wrappings and a cloth. I turned to Clary "I'll be right back" and left for a glass of water, when I came back Clary was vomiting violently into the toilet. I ran over to her, setting down the glass and placing my hands into Clary's sides, moving them to rub her back as she started to settle.

"I'm sorry" she said as she leaned back, tears streaming down her face.

"You have nothing to be sorry for" I stood up grabbing the glass and Advil, then handing them to her. I ducked over to the sink wetting the cloth under the tab and kneeling back down before Clary as she set down the glass.

I reached for her hands, getting her to hold them out in front of me. I dabbed away the dried blood and leftover glass of one hand, then doing the same to her other. I reached for the polysporin, and rubbed some of the contents onto her cuts, soothing them. Finally I wrapped each hand in the wrappings, all while she sat there in silence.

I carried her into a dreadfully messy bedroom with papers, sketch pads and clothes encasing the floor, the bed looked like it hadn't been used in a month. I walked to the bed and placed Clary down onto the bed, pulling the sheets out and laying them atop her body. "You don't have to do this" she whispered relaxing into the mattress.

"Don't worry about it, just get some rest." I tucked her into the blankets, avoiding her eyes as they watched me. "I'm going to wait for you in your living room", i sat on the edge of the bed turning my body towards her and kissing the top of her head. I stood up and walked out the door.

* * *

><p>Alright here's the chapter! same deal guys, review, message me, let me know what your questions and stuff are.<p>

I added a new story this week, it only has one chapter but go to my profile and check it out, it's called "Finding Life Hidden In Corners". It's about Clary Fray and her battle to find herself. she's willing to give up everything and everyone to do so and a golden haired god, is more then willing to help but something's not right. This boy she just met seems way to protective like he himself is hiding something that could possibly be dangurus. whatever it is he's so afraid of, Clary will be forced to choose between a safe life at home or a life running with the boy who seems to know exactly how to win her heart

READ IT!


	11. Isabelle Lightwood, make an impression

"Clarissa, wake up" I heard his voice close to my ear, soft and frightening. My eyes shot open from my sleep, immediately focusing on his face that pearled just through the rooms darkness. His stumble covered chin was messy and matched his crazy eyes, all held together with a toothy grin that revealed his sickening yellow teeth. "Look at you sunshine, a drunk just like your old man." he broke into a low laugh that held a bitter sense of pride. He was proud of the fact, he had obliterated my soul.  
>I sat up and reached for the light quickly, turning the lamp at my bedside on. It was a childish thing to do, something a five year old would do to banish the "bogeyman" . He was gone from the spot he had once been, vanishing with my sigh of relief. A childish fix to a trick of shadows.<br>"Over here honey" my head whipped to just beside me in the bed where he leaned over with his hands holding him above the mattress.  
>"How did you get in my house, how do you even know where I live? I jumped from the bed backing myself into the wall. I knew better than to run, he was faster, and it would only piss him off.<br>"Look at you playing grown up" he taunted avoiding my question. "Don't you want to be my little girl again?" , I stared at him in horror, because when I left, I thought this game had been over.  
>"I was never yours!" I stated clenching my jaw in a mix of fear and anger.<br>His amused image changed, he no longer wanted to play with me. He stood tall, moving back from the bed. I watched as he walked around the bed, keeping his eyes locked on me. I was cornered, there was no where to go. "You were always mine" he stood in front of me, so close I pushed against the wall to get away. So close I needed to turn my head to not suffocate against hi chest. "You will always be mine." he pledged, his thick breath reaching down to stain my neck with his disgusting stench. "Even when you wake up"  
>Suddenly i lay on my bed, tucked under the covers. The room was empty, the stench of liquor possibly my own, the light still off.<br>I've had these dreams since I was a child, just imagining leaving would bring these terrors. I always thought they would stop when I finally left, but they only got worse, feeding on my fears. It was like my life would always revolve around him, and my dreams told me I would see him again. "I will see you when you get home", the memory of his words rang through my mind, had he been delusional, or was it true that I would go back one day.  
>I stood up from my bed and walked to the door of my room but stopped short as I reached for the door knob. My hand was bandaged, both of them.<br>The memory's of Jace came at me with full force, how he had found me, took care of me and even tucked me into bed with care. I remembered he lips pressing to my forehead gently, so softly I almost didn't notice.  
>I found a shirt, pulling it over my body as I left the room, knowing full well that I probably looked terrible, but not caring anymore.<br>When I got to the door of my living room I saw him. the mess from last night had been cleaned, and Jace sat in the middle of my couch, his face buried in his hands.  
>It was moments like this that I saw something inside him that made me wonder if it was supposed to be me fixing him, but when I tried he always came out as a sort of savior to me. He was changing me, when all i could do was try to ease his pain.<br>This whole event had probably screwed everything up, he would probably be to disgusted my me to even want to be near me and him helping me this morning was noting more than pity.  
>"Jace?" I casually called into the silent room. He looked up from his hands, becoming stiff as his eyes met mine. "I'm so sorry, i didn't mean to lay all that on you lap like that. I had no intention what's so ever for it to go so far, I didn't want you to see that". his golden eyes just stared back at me, his hands fallen between his spread legs, dangling without a purpose. "I don't know why you didn't just turn around and walk out that door, I don't understand why you stayed, why you would help someone so, messed up." as soon as the words left my mouth i wished i could just grab for them.<br>I watched as Jace's face grew frustrated. glaring at me, he spoke "Clary, you just don't get it do you? Do you not understand what it is I'm trying to do? I want to do these things for you Clary, because that's what friends do. and you are in no way messed up, your just having a difficult time, i get that and I want to help, so just fucking let me" his voice was tired at the end, breaking his voice from its clear tone to a more raspy noise. I moved to sit with him, just beside him on the couch but staring distantly to the point where i could just see him from the corner of my eye. He stayed silent for a moment, taking a few deep breaths as his hands combed through his yellow locks. "I told you yesterday i wouldn't ask you, i said i would wait, but i have to know, was it your dad"  
>How could he possibly know? i hadn't told him anything, even if i owed it to him. I turned my head to him and met saddened orbs that only moments ago seemed irritated with me. He deserved better than the secrets i had kept, while he was opening himself up to me. "No, i never knew my dad."I fought against the lump that formed in my now dry throat "It was my stepfather, Luke".<br>A pained look flashed across his face, mixed with slight shock. "I'm sorry"  
>"There's nothing you can do to change the past Jace, so don't bear on it." I brushed off his pity filled words,<br>"Clary, I look at you and I see a mask of beauty and fear, but when I look through you, I see strength, independence and a fiery soul that would fight to the end."  
>"I'm not much of a fighter-" I interrupted him, trailing off as his glance silenced me.<br>"I wouldn't change anything about you, no matter how much I would want to take away your pain, its apart of you, its your past, your story. I'm just a child under the covers reading with an almost dead flashlight, but i wont put down the book till every page is red, or till I'm taken from it forcefully, till i can no longer fight against sleep."  
>"I didn't peg you as a reader"<br>"And i didn't peg you for much of a drinker, but i guess were both full of surprises." A smile crept across my face. I wondered when the last time i had smiled without Jace was, but i couldn't think of any other time i had smiled between Simon and Jace. Maybe Jace was already my friend, but thinking of him as a friend seemed almost, wrong, he was something else entirely to me, maybe something more. "I-" Jace was cut off by the ringing of his phone. He reached for it, answering it on the third ring.  
>"Hello?" , I watched as Jace's face grew shocked. "Dude, what's going on?" he listened intensively, nodding to himself in a way his hair flopped slightly. "Dinner? with you, your sister and your Husband? Your sister hates me!" his eyes flickered to me, watching for a reaction. "Are you sure shes willing to give me a chance, her fiance isn't some great big guy who is just trying to trap me and kill me for her?" he let out a sigh of breath, in relief. "Can i bring someone?". Jace looked at me and laughed, "Shes here if you wanna ask her?" My mouth fell, what the hell was i being dragged into now? he held the phone out to me.<br>"Hello?" i asked into the phone.  
>"Hey Clary, its Alec." He voice was calm and somewhat amused, but you could here his gentle personality behind his low tone.<br>"Hey Alec, how can i help you?" I knew pretty well what he wanted, and i wasn't thrilled, but i did like Alec and i would consider what he would ask.  
>"Well my sister has arranged to meet with Jace, to give him a chance and she also, would like to meet you."<br>"What's her interest in me? What does Jace need a chance for" Jace looked away staring off into the distance.  
>"Did Jace tell you what he did to me in high school, what are relationship was like then?"<br>"Ye,s he told me."  
>"Well Jace called me yesterday, while i was with my sister. She was rather angry that i was talking to him and i had to explain to her that he had apologized for his behavior as a child, i mentioned when he came by the bar yesterday, and of course i mentioned you. She wanted to meet you, and check Jace out"<br>"Well, she seems kinda protective", Jace snickered, and Alec burst out laughing.  
>"You have no idea. So what do you say Clary? Are you willing to save Jace, because i guaranty he will need some support, and i think your just the person to help." I nibbled on my bottom lip, drawing Jace's attention once again. he swallowed hard, with his eyes fixed on my lips.<br>"I guess i owe him that much"  
>Jace leaned into my opposite ear from the one i had the phone at and whispered, "I hope you not talking about me, because you don't me a thing", then reaching for the phone and taking it from my grasp. He moved away from me, but he seemed to be sitting closer then he had a moment ago.<br>"What time and where, Alec?" he asked somewhat determined. "alright, I'll see if we can grab a cab and meet you there, but make sure Izzy doesn't bring any weapons" he laughed a true smile on his face. "Alright man, I cant wait to meet this man you married." he hung up after a second and looked back at me, "We have an hour, Do you want me to leave while you get changed and stuff?"  
>"It's fine if you wanna stay, I wont be that long"<br>there was a question that was filling his image, it was a long moment before he asked, "Are you sure you want to go? You don't have to go if you don't". I watched him, remembering how Alec had told me Jace would need me. For some reason, the thought of him needing me, filled me with an unexplainable joy.  
>"Yes, I'm sure."<p>

Me and Clary walked into a place called Taki's, it was a small simple place with a very small amount of people in it. My eyes fixed on a table that held a black haired woman whom had there back to me and two other men, one of them being Alec who faced us. Alec smiled when he caught my eyes, nodding to me. I mirrored his actions just as the dark haired woman turned in her seat.  
>Isabelle Lightwood had always been beautiful, you know the long legged dark haired type of girl who could get almost any guy who liked a girl with attitude. When i looked at her now, i saw a more matured, gorgeous woman whom didn't catch my attention sexually. For a second i had to wonder if I was still looking at the girl I had went to High School with, but sure enough it was her. Only Isabelle Lightwood could wear such deadly look on her face.<br>"Hello", I said as we walked over to the table, staying close to one another.  
>"Hey Jace, Clary, this is my husband Magnus and Isabelle my sister, as you know Jace."<br>The man Alec had motioned to had dark hair that was wild with strands that spiked out. He wore a pair of skinny black pants that were torn and splattered with white paint. His shirt was a white button up that he had pushed the cuffs up to his elbows in a messy fashion. He was smiling up at me with cat like greenish yellow eyes. he reached out a hand to me, I took it and shook it as he spoke "Jace Wayland, I've heard quite a bit about you" then he moved his eyes to Clary, taking his hand back and moving it towards her, "The same for you Miss. Fray, I'm a huge fan of you work by the way"  
>"Thank you, its nice to meet you" she responded as Magnus took his hand back.<br>"likewise! Now why don't the both of you take a seat before my neck starts to hurt from staring up at you!" it wasn't a question. Me and Clary met eyes for the first time since we had walked in, she nodded to me and sat down in an empty seat beside Isabelle, I hopped in the empty seat beside her that was also next to Alec.  
>"so Jace" Isabelle's voice broke into the silent air for the first time. "What have you been up to these last few years". I had hoped she would start with Clary because she at least didn't have any reason to hate Clary.<br>"Well i did a few years of ultimate fighting, but quit last year, now I'm just rolling with the punches."  
>"Why did you quit?" She narrowed her eyes at me like i did something immensely stupid.<br>"My uncle died" i spoke emotionless, trying to hide the surge of regret icing my eyes. I felt what i guessed Clary's hand grip my wrist out of view from the others, my eyes flickered to Clary who was looking at Isabelle. It almost looked like Clary was challenging her.  
>"I'm sorry i had no idea" Isabelle just kept staring at me, not even noticing Clary.<br>"So Isabelle, How long have you been engaged?"  
>"A month now, and please Jace try not to be jealous."<br>"Why would i be jealous?" Its not like i ever had a thing for her, sure i hit on her in high school, but she never interested me that way. However no matter how much pull I had back then, it was never enough for her, she always thought of her brother before anyone else. No, I never had had a thing for her, but I did admire how caring she was, even if she tried to hide it.  
>"Because you always did like what you couldn't have." Clary tensed a bit and i moved my wrist away from her hand, grabbing it in my own. Trying to comfort her through whatever thought she may have had.<br>"People change after High School, Izzy."  
>"Not everyone can Jace" she snickered to herself and turned to Clary. "So your Clary Fray?" Isabelle seemed to have a odd interest that told me Alec had told her about Clary. I was caught wondering if Alec had told her about what he know about Clary, and that he thought she had been abused as a child.<br>"Yes" I could hear how casual she was acting, I hadn't heard her talk like this since the night i met her. This is how she acts when shes learning about people, it hadn't really accrued to me that she was a judgmental person, but I could see that maybe it was a way of protecting herself. A way of hiding from danger. Wow that sounds cheesy, I really need to learn how to filter my thoughts!  
>"Its nice to meet you, sorry if I'm being a bitch Jace has always brought out that side of me." a light smile playing on Izzy's lips.<br>"I know the feeling" She laughed as i looked at her, I felt slightly shocked at her acceptance. How often was it that  
>"Ouch, since when do you have the power to be unkind Fray?" I chuckled at her, amused with her response.<br>"Must have happened when I met you. Don't like it, deal with it, its not like i can get rid of you anyway" She was now looking down at her menu, reading as she talked.  
>"You will get your chance, but we both know you wont want too?" I responded with a smirk.<br>"Jace if people could get rid of you, I'm sure you would be one lonely guy." Alec added into the conversation, enjoying the treatment i was getting.  
>"That's not fair Alexander, I'm sure Jace could find someone to accompany him" Magnus said, and i notice he was looking just beside me, at Clary with this knowing glint in his eyes. When i looked over at her she had her eyes level with him. "Don't you think Clary?"<br>"I'm sure we could find someone he hasn't pissed off, most likely someone who is both blind and death."  
>"I don't think that would work, Jace would probably end up hurting them physically, or he would forget them on a bus or something" Izzy said<br>"Lets attack someone else for a change, how does that sound?" Everyone was silent, waiting for a chance to pounce but i was ready. "So Izzy, wheres you loving fiance tonight? What could possibly be more important than meeting me?"  
>"Simon has some family stuff in town, we came to New York so he can see his mother. But I don't really like her, so I thought i could kill some time with my Big brother, his Husband and his old tormenter who now seems to be his friend now, not to mention this interesting red head" she indicated to Clary with a smile.<br>"Its not very nice to leave Simon with that woman, I heard she is one scary beast." Magnus chuckled as the waitress came and went, bringing us each a glass of water  
>"Shes really into her religion, apparently I'm wrong for her son because I'm not Jewish?"<br>" You sure its not your attitude?" Alec joked, "Your voice isn't really all that pleasant to listen to sometimes" she glared at Alec and i heard Clary stiffen a laugh beside me. I squeezed her hand in mine and smirked.  
>"I will remember that one later" she said as she sipped her water, continuing to glare over her glass. when she set the glass down she looked back at Clary, "So your an artist?",<br>"Yeah"  
>a fucking brilliant one at that! I reached down and picked up my water sipping it. I looked up and found everyone staring at me.<br>Did I say that out loud?

* * *

><p>Well that was probably a mistake!<p>

Who pity's Jace right now?

So i want all the feed back, good or bad. Questions, what ever you guys have to say, anything, i can take it i swear!

-The Black Tattoo

XD


	12. Friendship, Or Something Else?

"I will remember that one later" she said as she sipped her water, continuing to glare over her glass. The glass hitting the table, she turned to me, her blue eyes full of sly intentions. I knew so little about this woman but from what I could tell, she didn't say or do anything without a reason. "So your an artist?" she asked me.

"Yeah" I answered. I could tell she wasn't the type who normally looked at art as anything but something to display in front of people she wanted to impress. I knew the personality from the many people who bought my work, they always loved games.

"A fucking brilliant one at that!" Jace blurted out casually as he reached for a drink of his water. When the glass hit the table he looked confused as I stared at him, but I guessed that I wasn't the only one shocked by him compliment that was so different from him, well when other people were around. He was so open when we were alone, but normally he was sheltered in the presence of others, I wasn't even sure if he knew that about himself. "What? Why is everyone looking at me like I just tore off a mask and was suddenly an Alien with a observed hat?"

"I didn't know you liked art Jace, you don't really seem like the type." Isabelle said from beside me with a dazed voice.

"Only the good kind Izzy, I wouldn't waste a moment looking at something that wasn't as amazing as looking at myself" He joked trying g to get back to his cocky personal, but I could tell it was to late, that one slip up would be enough for Isabelle to get a clue as to what it is he was truly beneath his skin.

"Well really I don't blame him" I looked over to Magnus as he spoke, leading my gaze away from Jace. "You are extremely talented Clary. Its not a shock Jace would appreciate that, just that he would say so without some how managing to compliment himself at the same time." Alec grinned to himself.

"Come on Mag, just tell her how many pieces of her work you own" He laughed to Magnus then turning to me. "I swear if I wasn't sure he was gay, I would think he was secretly in love with you, and probably stock you till he could kidnap you and force you to paint him as a nude."

"That would be a crime against humanity, if any of us men were going to be painted as a nude, it would half to be me."

"Jace try to keep your pants on, we are in public" I teased.

"I guess I can wait till were alone, we may need a test run before you paint me, you should get to know my fantastic body before you paint it" The other three had started there own little conversation and we were left talking to eachother.

"In your dreams Wayland, you-" I was cut off by the sound of my phone ringing. Jace tensed slightly as I took my phone out to see who was calling. He must have seen the name over my shoulder. I let go of his hand that I had grasped in my own, but felt him take it again quickly, drawing my attention back to him.

"Clary please, don't answer that" I watched his panic eyes of gold beg me not to answer the call from my mother.

He was the reason I had sent her away, I don't know how to explain it but that look on his face when I had told him to leave that day, had given me the strength to stand up for myself. I don't know if I knew it then, but I knew it now. Being with Jace made me stronger, isn't that what friends were for, or was there something else, something I didn't quite grasp.

I nodded to him and pressed ignore on my phone turning back to the others as the waiter came over and took are orders.

...

It had been a long night, Jocelyn had called four more times after the first, I had been forced to forget each one and after the last one Jace had taken my phone to the interest of everyone else at the table. Isabelle had insisted on getting my number so we could go shopping together, she had even hugged Jace before we left, whispering something in his ear that made him smile and nod, while she seemed happy. Jace had paid for dinner when no one was looking, causing me and Alec to yell at him while the other two celebrated their free meal. We all had a few glasses of whine, and both Jace and Alec had a beer on top of the whine.

Me and Jace walked up to my door, having just left the cab we took home. It was like eleven and I was tired, but I could tell he had something on his mind. "Clary" he whispered as we got to the door, making me turn to find his face shadowed from the outside light, as it was ducked to look at the ground. "Would you have picked up the phone if I had of let you?" It was the last thing I thought he would ask, but I guessed it was called for.

"I don't know Jace, I don't think so, but I have to be honest with you, I'm scared of her. She doesn't terrify me, like she would kill me, but when I look at her all I can do is remember and Jace I really don't want to remember, I want to forget, more then anything."

"If you let me, I can help, I swear, I can help you" I didn't answer him just looked at his now risen head, the light shun him his animal eyes, that at this moment, were so vunerable that I thought he would just fall away.

"Jace where are you staying?" I wanted him to stay with me, like that night he held me, but I just wanted him there with me, to protect me like he had been doing. I could have wanted him to hold me again, but that was something I could never admit to myself.

"Next door on one of my Uncles old couches." he sighed, probably tired or disappointed that I hadn't answered his question.

"If you want, you can stay on my couch, I don't plan on sleeping on my living room floor tonight." An expression of Bravery passed over his face and as I was about to tell him it was just an option because I had no idea how he was living, he stepped close to me, so close his chest was pressed to mine.

"I would like that, but first there something I want to try, please don't slap me." His lips dipped down towards my own and lightly swept across them, before he was pressed them fully down. Jace Wayland once again, kissed me, but this time I didn't want to push him away. Maybe this was what a friendship didn't have, that we had.

* * *

><p>This Chapter is dedicated to all of you who were worried they weren't interested in each other, but a warning, they are going to act like it never happened in the next chapter when I pick up starting the next morning. I guarantee however that they will be thinking about it A HELL OF A LOT!<p>

So Clary's foster mother is back, she's trying to get back in touch with Clary, does anyone know what that means? Can any of you guess how this will affect Jace, Clary and even Jocelyn? HINT-SHITS GOING DOWN!

So let me know what you guys think, the kiss, Isabelle and MAGNUS (HE KNOWS SOMETIMES)

ONE LAST THING

Should Jace hear Clary's story about Simon in the next chapter, or another chapter?

REVIEW!

REVIEW!

REVIEW!

This Chapter is dedicated to all of you who were worried they werent interested in each other, but a warning, they are going to act like it never happened in the next chapter when I pick up starting the next morning. I garnetee however that they will be thinking about it A HELL OF A LOT!

So Clarys foster mother is back, shes trying to get back intouch with Clary, does anyone know what that means? Can any of you guess how this will affect Jace, Clary and even Jocelyn? HINT-SHITS GOING DOWN!

So let me know what you guys think, the kiss, isabelle and MAGNUS (HE KNOWS SOMETIMES)

ONE LAST THING

Should Jace hear Clary's story about Simon in the next chapter, or another chapter?

REVIEW!

REVIEW!

REVIEW!


	13. Questionable gifts, Questionable People

Day 3

My nightmare ended in a flash as someone began to bang at Clary's door. Grumbling i rolled over and stumbled to my feet, jogging out of the living room door. I looked down the hall towards Clary's bedroom, "Clary?" I called only to find silence. I ran my hand down my face after a moment and walked towards the door. As I opened it, I instantly regretted it.

There in Clary's door way stood her mother, looking snobby in a long black coat that hung down to just above her knees. Her face covered in her crappy make up and that irritating frown that added to her fake persona.

"Can I help you?" I asked keeping my hand firm on the door, holding it only open enough to show myself. I felt the cold air on my bare chest as I looked down on the only woman i had ever wished to harm.

"I'm here to see my daughter, not that it's any of your business!" she spat out at me, a disgusting look of impatience covering her.

"Well she's not here" It was funny after years of lying that I had once regretted, i now appreciated the practice. Well at least in this moment.

"Then why are you here" her hands went to her hips and I had to resist the erg to laugh at her cliché action and question.

"I offered to house sit while shes away" I planted a giant grin on my face, not letting her get to me.

"Well she must be better in bed then I thought, if she could get you do something like that" There is no way, she just called her daughter a whore, can she not fucking see herself?

"I wouldn't know how she is in bed actually, but i bet if i asked any other guy in town I would hear how willing you are." Her face instantly turned red with rage, but all i could do was snicker at the way her mouth was hanging open. Im cruel and sometimes, I even just enjoy it.

"You fucking asshole, you have no right to disrespect me! don't you know how to treat your superiors?"

"Yes, I do know how to treat my superiors, but your not one of them. In fact, I don't think your pitiful whore ass is above anyone!" my smirk never left my face as i looked at the woman who had hurt Clary her whole life. I probably should have been kinder to her but in this very moment, revenge just felt so good, even if it wasn't my revenge to take.

"Where did my daughter pick you up? A prison cell?" She will probably have to if she keeps up this act, or if I get my hands on Clary's asshole step father.

"No, but im sure thats where you get em!" She boar her eyes into me, staring at me, studying me. It occurred to me that what I had said was probably true, and maybe she was trying to figure out how I knew that. I wondered for a moment, just how far the abuse went. What kind of man was her husband, and just how far would he go to get what he wants?

"When is Clarissa back?" she wasn't even going to deny it. I felt my grip on the door tighten as my anger started to leak though my pours, overflowing from inside me. I had been doing so well lately, no out bursts, I could let it all fall because Clary's mother pissed me off.

"For you? Not any time soon." She snarled! She actually snarled! I tried to hold my composer, keeping as calm as i possibly could.

She reached into her purse that had been set onto Clary's steps and produced a bagged item. She shoved it at me as her face changed from a snarl to a devilish smirk, "Be sure you give this to Clary, tell her 'Just to remind you, from Luke'. She will know what it means" I took the object, trying to figure out who Luke was, but hopping my hunch was wrong. "Another time, asshole."

"Later bitch" I watched her leave.

I stood in the doorway for a moment, staring down at the thing that was meant to be for Clary. I wanted to take the packaging off and look at it, I wanted to know who Luke was. A horrible urge to just turn around and throw out the 'gift' washed over me, but even if it was an action that would protect her, I would regret lying to her.

Turning around I closed Clary's door and walked back inside, jumping back as I saw Clary leaning against the wall in the entry way. How long had she been there? "Morning Clary, you had a visitor."

"I know, I heard." She smiled putting her hand out to take the object. After a moment of hesitation I handed it to her and watched as she un bagged the thing just enough to see what was inside. I tried to see it, but she kept it just out of my view. She let out a sigh and pushed it back into the package. looking back at me, "Want something to eat?"

"Only if your offering" I winked at her with a cocky grin on my face. She rolled her eyes at me with a small laugh as she pushed back her hair.

She was Dressed in just a simple black tank and a pair of baggy red plaid pajama pants with the end slightly dragging on the floor at her feet. Her hair was un brushed but not wild from a night of sleep, it was almost like she hadn't slept, and her eyes that were heavy with bags just assured that assumption.

"I guess I am. Eggs and bacon, sound ok?" I nodded, I couldn't even remember the last time I had eaten breakfast not made at a restaurant or diner. I wasn't really the type who made my own food and I didn't have any one I didn't have to pay to cook for me.

I watched her turn into the hall and down to the kitchen as i followed. It was kinda weird how I already knew her place from the few times I had been in it, but it felt, right. I knew there were two bathrooms, one in her room and one in the hall not far from the rest of the house. I knew about the locked door that i had stumbled upon last night, i couldn't figure out what it was she had locked up, but i guessed it was her basement. But the truly frightening thing about how much I knew about this place, was also what I had seen in her closet last night when she put away are jackets, a gun, a shotgun to be exact. I wanted to ask her about many things in this place but I knew I couldn't.

Her kitchen was nice an big with a huge island and a row of wooden stools that sat on the side facing into the kitchen. She had a large black fridge that was the end of a long line of counter top that shaped a half box, like an "E" without the inside line. The room was filled with beautiful pine cabinets that held the counter top and hung overtop. there was a window that shown the whole street just over her sink. I decided that, I liked her kitchen.

I sat down on one of the stools watching Clary as she searched inside her fridge, without even turning to me she asked, "Jace are you going to ask whatever it is thats bugging you or are you just going to sit there quietly till I figure it out?"

I had known she could tell certain things about people, but I had no idea she could tell that much without even looking at them, or maybe it was just me. I panicked a little inside, wondering what it is I could ask her that wouldn't be to much. I searched my mind for any possible and simple question I may of had for her. Am I trying to hard, it feels like I am?

I looked towards her living room and the picture caught my eye, the one of her when she was young, with a small boy I didn't recognize. I walked over and picked it up, fully aware of the eyes that bore into my back as I grasped the frame. I turned to her, meeting the eyes of a Clary that leaned against her counter with her arms crossed. "When was this taken", I asked with a grin that said I was only interested.

"My 8th birthday."

"It's the only picture in your house" I gazed down at it, smiling to myself at the image of Clary smiling she walked with the small rat like child that gave a peace sign. He looked like a really dorky kid, but that smile on Clary's face, well it made me respect him. When I looked up I followed her eyes to the thing her mother had dropped off that had been put on the counter. I wondered if maybe that was a picture, possibly framed, it was the right kind of size. But if thats what it was, what was the picture of?

Her eyes met mine again before she spoke again. "It was a gift, from the boy in the picture. He framed it and gave it to me, I couldn't get rid of it." I wasn't shocked that someone would do that for her, I know I would of, and I haven't even known her that long. What really caught me off guard was that she hadn't mentioned him before. But she hadn't told me much about her past.

"What's his name?" I walked towards her as she turned around and started frying some eggs and bacon on the stove. I felt like she was hiding from me, it irritated me, but that was selfish. This could be hard for her, I had no way of really knowing.

"Simon, Simon Lewis. He moved away not long after he gave that to me, maybe a month or so." It was strange to feel resentment to a child, but he had something that I wanted, and he had just threw it away without fighting for it. However as much as I would want to blame him, he was only a child then, he probably didn't have much of a choice.

"Did you ever see him again, you know after he left?" I asked now standing just behind her.

"No"

"Do you remember much about him?" I asked stepping beside her and sitting up on the counter. She looked up at me and nodded, an expression that revealed her repressed memories, that I now watched in her eyes. "Will you tell me about him?" I tilted my head to the side and leaned back on my hands, feeling the cool stone under my palms. She looked to be considering it for a moment before she gave a light, single nod, then looking away.

"He was kind, but curious , he had this thing with always sticking his nose into things that it didn't belong in" She smirked and her eyes flickered to me as if to imply the same about me. "He was brave, he said he would always protect me, no matter what. And he did, for the most part, what he could protect me from he did. He was really nerdy, always carrying a comic book with him, I taught him how to read. But if there was anything about him I would always remember, it would be how caring he was. I remember this one time I had fallen and broke my knee, he stayed with me and comforted me, fighting everyone who tried to tear me away from him." I watched her, a smile playing on her lips as she talked about this Simon kid, he made her so happy. "In a lot of ways, you remind me of him. Your both so determined, protective and courageous." Her eyes met mine with kindness in them. "He was the only friend I have ever had."

"He sounds like a cool guy, I hope you have that many nice things to say about me." I laughed lightly.

She finished cooking the food and pulled together two plates and two cups of coffee. She handed me one of each and sat up on the counter next to me.

"I could probably think of a few good things to say, if I forget the massive ego that you tug around and not to mention what a terrible snorer you are."

"I do not snore, and even if I did, it would be a wicked cute snore"

"Yes defiantly Jace, and you would know that because? Haven't you ever been told you snore before?" She teased.

"Well to be honest, I can't remember a time other than that night with you, that I had spent the night with anyone."

"But I thought you were the big ladies man, always scoring with random women."

It was then that it occurred to me, When was the last time I had slept with anyone, its been a while hasn't it? I didn't even notice, by now I normally would have been with at least six different women, wait its been like what, three weeks? So yeah six sounds right. Thats strange. My eyes roamed to Clary's lips as she sipped her coffee and a thought came to me, could it possibly be because of Clary?

"To be honest, they never stay the night, I can't handle it." That was the truth and nothing but!

"The nightmares right?" I felt myself stiffen, that was a topic I had avoided with her.

"Yes-" I started.

"You don't need to explain, I just wanted to know if that was the reason." She finished off her food and set the dishes in the sink with a grin. "Im going to go get dressed." She poked my bare chest "If its not to much to ask, can you please put on a shirt?" I watched her walk away laughing, while I holding back the erg to make a comment about her liking the view I presented.

The moment she was out of sight I went into the living room and picked up my iPhone and searched Simon on Facebook. To tell you the truth, I never thought I would be able to find him, but if who came up was the person from Clary's childhood, I had hit a serious break. Because the guy who's Facebook profile was open on my phone, had a profile picture of him kissing Isabelle Lightwood. He was Izzy's fiance. Fucking small world.

Without even thinking I looked over at Clary's phone that I still had, and came up with a very devious plan. I reached for the phone knowing that Clary had gotten Izzy's number last night, and I called it.

"Clary!" Isabelle's voice rang on the other end, sounding surprised and pleased.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but no, its me Jace." I corrected her with a calm voice that was ready for the worst.

"Do I wanna know why you have Clary's phone?"

"probably not, but listen im in a hurry and I need a favor, don't say no till you hear what I have to say."

There was a small pause that told me she was thinking, then her soft strong voice broke through the phone. "Im listening."

"I need to meet with Simon, like today and also while im doing that I would need you to occupy Clary, take her shopping like you talked about."

"Why do you need to meet with Simon?" I heard a guy beside her mutter something, and her shush him. I didn't know how much to tell her, I wanted to check Simon out before hand.

"I think that maybe he will be interested in something I have to tell him about an old friend he used to have." I blurted out.

"How would you-, you know what I don't even want to know." She was silent for a moment, probably thinking it through. "Ok Jace, I will get him to meet you in an hour, I will text you where. Give Clary back her phone, I will call her in ten minutes and insist we go shopping. I hope your not lying to me Jace, I want you to be the guy my brother claims you have changed into."

"I don't know what hes said about me, and I can't promise it's all true, but Izzy I am different, better, and I am sorry for what I've done, I really am. I know I can never repay the both of you, but im willing to try. "

"Alec told me once that it takes a good woman to change a man, I guess he was right" I stayed silent, waiting for her to tell me exactly what she is talking about, but my confusion didn't find a release. "Good luck Jace."

The phone clicked, as she hung up.

...

I walked into the small coffee shop Izzy had told me to go to. It was simple with a few tables, a small stage and a couple couches. Nothing special.

In the corner sitting in a booth was the man I recognized as Simon. He was looking down at the table thoughtfully with a clenched fist holding up his lazed head as his dark hair fell across his face. There was something about the look in his eye, something odd.

I walked over to him and sat across from him. He sat up imminently and met his glass covered gaze with mine, the oddness now vanished. "Im Jace" I said reaching a hand across the table.

His hand met mine with a firm grip, "Simon" he responded. "But you already knew that, may I ask how?" He continued curiosity along his face.

I reached into my pocket and grabbed my phone. I search through the device till I found the picture I had taken earlier. It was weird that I had taken a picture of a Clary's picture, but I had thought it could maybe come in handy, you know, jog his memory, prove I wasn't lying, stuff like that. I set my phone on the table and pushed it across to him.

He reached for it, curling his fingers around it and bringing it up to his face. His mouth fell open slightly and he looked up at me with shook, "How did you get this?" he asked.

"A friend of mine, has that one picture in her home and only that picture. I asked her about it this morning and she told me it was a gift on her 8th birthday by the only other friend she has ever had, one whom she hasn't seen since being a child. She told me about him, she told me about how she even taught him how to read, all while she had this look in her eye that told me how much she missed him." Simon was breathing deeply now, a small smile on his face as he looked down at the picture.

"Clary Graymark" I was stunned for a moment, Graymark?

"Wait what? Graymark?" Simon returned his eyes to mine confused.

"Yes, Clary Graymark, Graymark is her last name right?" Why would he think that? Was that Clary's real name, was she lying about her name?

"No it's Fray, Clary Fray."

"She must have changed it, I never really liked the name Graymark anyway. It didn't suit her very well."

"So you do remember her?" I asked trying not to seem anxious, but I knew I was.

"I could never forget, I spent most of my teen years trying to find her. I checked Facebook ever week to see if she would magically appear. I remember visiting her old house when I turned 18 on a trip to New York." He trailed off, frowning. "There was always something off about that place" I wondered for a moment how long Clary had been abused, if it had started at the young age Simon knew her, or if it was later.

"Do you mind if I ask you something weird?" Simon laughed lightly at my request

"This whole thing is weird, just go ahead!"

"Did you ever meet Clary's step dad?" His face turned solid as he passed my phone back to me.

"When I was little I remember seeing him standing at the window waiting for her. His hair was greasy and stubble was patched all over his face, he was filthy and obviously drunk" we sat there staring back at each other for a moment. "Then when I went back, I knocked on the door and an older version of him answered reeking of liquor and sweat. He told me that Clary had moved out, so I left when he wouldn't tell me where. He just kept telling me that he had no idea where she was, but sooner or later he would find out."

My hands clenched into fists on the table and I felt my face begin to harden. "Creep" I muttered.

Simon just watched me, staying patient as I calmed down, he had something he wanted to say. "She made out ok right?" He asked with his gaze set on the table.

I didn't know how to answer, Clary was many things, but ok just didn't seem like the right thing to describe her. "She's a well known artist, has a nice home and I don't think I've ever known a more interesting woman. And trust me when I say I have met a lot of woman."

"I don't doubt it." I stared at the man for a moment. There was something strange about him, and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't figure out what it was that different. Something about him just made me wonder how much alike we really were.

"So, if I call Izzy right now and tell her to bring Clary here, will you be the friend you were years ago? And don't give me any crap, I know you were her friend, hell you were her only other friend. As far as I know, your probably the only person she ever trusted, and I need to be sure she can still trust you, because if your just going to be an asshole we can just forget about this whole thing," I blurted out moving my hands off the table and fisting them in my jeans as I stared at his bowed head. He never seemed to look up, like always looking down was a habit.

"If she's the Clary I knew as a kid, there isn't a chance in the world that I would be an asshole to her. Sarcastic maybe bur not a jerk." He assured me. "Call!"

* * *

><p>That's the chapter!<p>

Who liked it?

Who hated it?

Who likes Simon?

Who hates him?

JUST REVIEW AND TELL ME ALL YOUR THOUGHTS!

oh and I wanna know what you guys think of how Jace talks to Clary's mom.

And if you think you know what Simon is hiding!

LAST THING

WHO WANT"S AN ISABELLE POV?


	14. Secrets, We All Have Them!

No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't figure her out. Her guarded emotions, her art, Jace, I just didn't know what it was about her. I looked at her and just saw this, difference, how she moved, how she spoke, how people talked about her. What was it that made her so, special? I was probably over exaggerating the whole situation, but I just couldn't get over it.

Most likely, I wouldn't have paid any attention to her if Jace wasn't taking such an interest in her, but he was and that interested me. What can I say, Jace always put me on guard, and that meant the things that caught his eye, worried me.

I could feel her eyes on me now, watching me, studying my every move. She was smart, not easily swayed. The way she was challenging me, almost amused me. Yes, she was defiantly different.

I turned around meeting Clary's glace with a smile on my face and a pile of clothes in my arms. "What?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at her question filled face.

Her expression changed, as if everything was just becoming lightly smiled and brushed her hair back behind her ear, "Sorry, I was just day dreaming." What was she thinking about?

"Here" I said back as I handed her the clothes. I could tell she didn't care much for shopping, so I made sure to pick a good amount. And don't you dare call me a bitch for doing so, I just needed the extra time with her, you know, to figure her out. Besides, its been a while since I went shopping with a girl, sure she wasn't the most girly one, but she wasn't Simon who groans everytime I pick something up.

"Please tell me these are not all for me?" her voice a cloud of foggy boredom as she grasped the clothes. She held the cloth without effort, letting her arms droop under the weight of the material.

I laughed at her, "Are you asking me to lie?" Her head dramatically fell as if to mimic dread. I laughed as I watched her, "Just get a move on". As she lifted her head and met eyes with me, I smirked a devious grin.

I sat down on a hard wooden bench not far from the changing room Clary occupied. All our belonging set next to me as I eyed Clary's purse with interest. I was fighting an inner battle of moral, because The erg to rummage through her purse was growing stronger by the seconds.

Then I heard it, the muffled sound of a ringing phone. It was Clary's, Well at least the ringing was coming from her purse. I reached over, silently Telling myself that I was just going to answer her phone, but knowing secretly that there was much more to it. Rummaging through her purse I finally found the ringing device and read the caller ID. Jocelyn, who could that possibly be? To be honest, I was sure it would be Jace.

"Hello?" I said as I answered the phone.

"Clary! Where the hell have you been and why on earth are you not answering your fucking phone!" she yelled into the phone. I panicked a little inside, if Clary was screening this woman's calls, there was probably a reason. She sounded older, middle aged maybe, but also by her tone, I would say she had a very large stick up her ass!

"I'm sorry, but I'm not Clary I'm her friend, she's away. My names Isabelle!" I tried my best not to sound annoyed as I spoke respectfully. How irritating!

"I don't give a shit who you are, why do you have my daughters fucking phone!" she grunted. She was Clary's mom? Why did she not name her as "Mom" in her contacts like everyone else would . I quickly thought of a lie.

"I just came over to drop something off and I heard her phone ringing, so I thought I would get it." I sounded board, but really I was insanely interested in this woman.

"Oh I see, your there with that blond asshole! I bet your sleeping with him behind her back, maybe that guy does have good taste after all. Seconds on the side, smart guy, even if he is an asshole" my mouth dropped! What the hell was wrong with this woman, she just accused me of sleeping with- wait is she talking about Jace? Why would she know Jace and why would she think he would be at Clary's? Jace did ask me to distract her, maybe he's staying with her or something. But she thinks they are sleeping together, are they?

"No, he's not even here. " I was confused and angry. I just didn't understand who could say something about there child's friend like that. It just didn't make since, unless Clary did something to her!

She started to laugh. Why? "I guess I was wrong, she can get friends, but none of them are worth the least bit." what?

I was about to tell her off, possibly even testify on Clary's behalf, but she hung up on me. I almost called her back, but a thought crossed my mind before I could. What if there was a side to Clary's life, that wasn't something I wanted to see? Did Jace know, could I even ask him? Did I want to?

That was Clary's mom. She sounded and acted like such a bitch. She seemed cruel and extremely judgmental, how could someone possibly live with that?

"Izzy? Can you give me a hand zipping up this dress" I heard Clary call from down the hall. I set her phone back in her purse and stood.

"Yeah, sure" I was too distracted to comment, I wanted to, but I just couldn't. She slightly opened her changing room door and I walked insider as I reached it. She had a on a wonderful black dress that clung to her body perfectly in almost every way. it was simple, a sleeveless dress made of silk with a belt. She had her back to me and I could see the blush on her face in the mirror. Just as my hand touched the zipper I saw something, right at the area where a woman's bra would normally hook, a scar. Of course this wasn't the kinda of dress you wore a bra with, so it wasn't odd that I saw the scar, what was odd was the scar itself! It was like that thing we did in school where we made lines to count something and every time we got to five we would cross a line through the other four lines, she had one carved into her back, a check list, with six checks. It was clear there was no possible way to get something like that by accident, someone put it there. And if I was right and it really was a check list, that meant that whoever put it there, did something six times and didn't want her to forget it.

I quickly zipped up her dress before she could ask me what I was looking at and realize I had seen the scar. " there you go!" I said lightly as I took a step back trying to hide my shook and curiosity. "let me see how it looks?"

"seriously? Now not only am I being forced to try these clothes on but now I half model for you!"

I laughed "consider it an honor! Not everyone is so lucky to have my eye for fashion" I joked with her.

Maybe I did like Clary, maybe this whole worried feeling I got from her, was jealousy.

"well what do you think" she said with a blush across her freckled Face as she interrupted my thought. I took another look at her in the dress, and what can I say, it suited her. It also gave me an idea.

"Buy the dress Clary, your gonna need it" I smirked at her as a worried look passed over her features!

"Why?" her voice was hasty and slightly panicked, it's possible she knew about my history.

I walked out of the dressing room without answering but laughing to myself. I walked over to my seat and heard my phone beep.

I'd gotten a text a few minutes ago, from Jace. It read, "Can you bring Clary down to the coffee shop?". I let out a sigh.

"Clary you may want to hurry, someone's looking for you!"

Isabelle had been driving me freaking crazy all morning, making me try on hundreds of different clothes, dragging me from place to place and even making me buy a dress that really wasn't my kind of thing. Now we were walking into a coffee shop and she refused to tell me why, just telling me to put a sock in it every time I asked! I really couldn't help whining, I was tired and for some reason, I really wanted to talk to Jace.

Then I saw him, I would recognize that hair anywhere, even if his back was to me. But he was with someone, but I couldn't see his face, his head was down and his hair was covering his eyes. Strangely enough I felt like I knew him, it kind of creepy.

"Jace, their here!" he said as he lifted his head, again he caught my eye, like I knew him, Isabelle seemed to. He got up out of the booth as did Jace and Isabelle gave the man a hug. He was broad and tall. His dark hair fell over his eyes, and I hadn't seen him straighten his neck yet. He turned to me, looking down on me with what looked to be blue eyes, "Clary Graymark!" he said with a light laugh, I tensed at the sound of my old name, I hadn't used that name since middle school, I still remember begging the high school secretary to change my name in the records. "Your a hard person to find these days!" I looked up at him in shook, I could feel the weight of my mouth as it gaped.

"Wh-What? I stuttered, forcing the words from beyond my struggling lips.

"I'm sorry, it's Fray now right?" I nodded as a big goofy grin spread across his face. Jesus he was familiar!

"Jace?" I said whipping my head towards him, he was smiling, so genuinely and trusting that I felt compelled to relax, well a little.

"Clary, I would like you to be aquatinted with Isabelle's fiancé" I looked over at her, but she was busy staring at the man, a worried look present. When I looked back at Jace, all I saw was hope "Simon Lewis!" oh dear god!

"Wait-Jace- that's not funny-" he cut me off before I could finish.

"it's not a joke"

"Simon, what's going on? Is she-" Isabelle started but trailed off as something became apparent.

"Yes, Izzy, this is her" Isabelle looked over at me full of an emotion I didn't know. "So Clary" he said to get my attention. He spread his arms out, "after all this time! No hug?" I can't explain what it was, but I didn't hesitate as I took the step that separated us and threw my arms around his neck. He laughed and wrapped his arms around me, "I missed you Clary, I really did!" he said as he lay his head on my shoulder.

"You too Si" I laughed as I felt a tear fall down my face. I felt truly happy in that moment. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to see him, wanted to hear his voice. This was one of the happiest moments in my life, and yes that's cheesy but deal with it.

But then I started to feel it again, the claustrophobic inside me was rejecting his touch. That part of me that feared closeness was taking over again as I was forced to pull away from the found beacon. I smiled lightly at him reassuring him everything was fine as I stepped away.

Jace touched my arm, in an effort to comfort me. It was odd how he knew me so well. "I have to talk to Izzy, is it OK if I go or do you want me to stay?" he asked quietly as Isabelle probably said the same thing so Simon as she kissed him on the cheek.

"No, I think I'm going to be fine. But thank you. Am I going to see you again tonight?" I asked nervous.

"Of course! I have a date with your couch and I wouldn't dare stand her up!" he made me laugh as he wiggled his eyebrows in a very odd fashion.

"is that so?"

"Yes, I'm hoping she will let me sleep with her again" What a cheese ball.

"I'm sure she will let you! But it's weird she really doesn't seem like your type." I teased him

"Well if I'm being truthful, I'm only using her to get closer to this friend of hers, you would probably like her, she's kinda cute."

"Oh really, well I think your gonna have to try harder then that!"

"I am, and trust me, I have a few tricks up my sleeve!" you sly bastard, we will just have to see about that!

"Well, I guess we will just have to wait and see, only four days left. You may want to put some plans in action."

"I will take that challenge, miss Fray" her turned his head away towards where Izzy and Simon were, a giant smirk still on his smug face.

When I looked over at them I saw they had been watching us and both of them were smiling and trying not to laugh. It was a cute sight, Simon was leaning against the booth with his head turned to the side, he had his arms wrapped around Isabelle with his fingers entwined with hers. They rested their hands onto her stomach while she leaned into him, they fit against each other perfectly.

"Clary, you are really starting to grow on me. I like that attitude!" commented Isabelle.

Simon Couldn't hold his laughter any longer, "She's stubborn too Iz, just like you. Maybe worse!"

"No kidding" Jace said beside me.

"I don't remember asking you Jonathan!" his head whipped in my direction at the sound of his full name

He laughed, " come on Izzy, before I get into it with Clarissa again!" I looked at him with an intensity that could only be tamed by the warm smile on his lips.

Me and Simon stood in silence as we watched them leave, both silently wondering something that had caught our tongues. But when I met eyes with him once again, staring though those black locks I saw an old memory become brand new.

We both sat down in the booth and looked at each other. I wasn't sure what to say to him, but apparently he knew.

"I looked for you! I want you to know that. I even went back to your old house once, but your step dad refused to tell me where you were." my body tensed at the mention of the man who had raised me.

"Thank you for looking Simon, looks like you finally found me."

"Actually I didn't, Jace found me." my ears perked at the mention of his name. "He's different from what I've heard, I'm glad." Jace found my Childhood friend for me, he came here and he met him, for me.

"Me too." I smiled thinking back to when he told me about the tricks he had up his sleeve.

"So I hear your an artist?" he asked with that tone that everyone had when they thought they were right about something. He had always told me as a kid I should be one.

"Yes, but what do you do?" It was something I had always wondered as a kid.

" Um, well I own a music store back home."

"seriously? That's got to be a total geek store?" I laughed at the thought of a store filled with shelves of music and a wall covered in awesome band memorabilia while every inch of the walls had posters on them.

"Trust me, it is. Iz tells me that I'm lucky she fell in love with me because I'm a geek or else she would have run for the hills the minute she saw that store ."

"she's quite the catch! How did you two even meet?"

" Well, I was looking to buy something for my sisters birthday, and I'd spent weeks looking all over town till I was standing in this women's clothing store. I had no idea what to do with myself, where to look or even what it is I was looking for. Izzy saw me, and she thought I looked kinda cute when I was helpless, So she gave me a hand, using her skills to find me the perfect gift in a matter of seconds." the enthusiasm in his voice was amazing. He really loved her. "To repay her, she demanded I buy her a drink and I did. When the night was over she was getting in a cab and I was watching her afraid I would never see her again. When she suddenly turned around and said "Meet me here for breakfast tomorrow" and handed me a slip of paper with an address and her number on it."

"Got to admit, she's good, and she knows it" I said smirking as I let out a nice laugh.

"She sure does." he laughed, the way we were talking, it felt like we had never been separated at all. "So what's going on with you and Jace?"

"Me and Jace, that's an odd combination!"

"Oh don't even try bull shifting your way out of that question!" he snickered.

"Well me and Jace, we're a long story!"

"I want to hear it, from the start to the finish." Crap

"well me and Jace are, I don't know what to call it, I could say friends but you can't tell him I said that, not yet. We made a wager, he thinks that at the end of 7 days he can make me think of him as a friend. That I will trust him, and if I for some reason don't, he will leave me alone forever. See we made this deal while he was standing on my porch in the rain, in the middle of the night telling me he wants to be a better person." I told him as much as I was comfortable with trying my best not to tell him something.

"You not telling me everything are you?"

"nope"

"your not going to are you?"

"Not yet, maybe some other time"

"I can see he's trying hard, I don't even think he has to think about it, I think he just does what comes naturally"

"no matter what anyone thinks about him, he's not horrible. He's kind, caring and the only reason he's ever acted different is because there's a lot of pain inside him. I don't think I have ever met someone who has been so broken that they can't seem to fun themselves in the bright of day" except myself. Simon sat there smiling at me with his head still tilted downward.

"I will take your world for it!" he laughed and patted his bangs down on his head, his hand lingering there for a moment.

I knew he was hiding something, but he had every right to, I was hiding something from him to. But I still couldn't help wondering why it is that he hid by ducking his head and wearing his bangs the way he did.

I let the question fall from my mind as we talked. We talked for what felt like hours, talking about our lives, the people we knew, the things we liked, anything that came to are minds.

* * *

><p>Hey guys its my Birthday! And for my Birthday I want you all to review!<br>Tell me what you thought!  
>Any thoughts you may have on Isabelle, or what she's doing!<br>What you think Simon's hiding!  
>What you would like to do to Clary's mom (not kill just maim or seriously injured, Killings no fun these days!<br>I WANT TO HEAR IT ALL!  
>SO REVIEW<br>LIKE RIGHT NOW  
>YOU SEE IT AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SCREEN SO GO AHEAD AND JUST REVIEW<p>

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V


	15. Tell Me

"Izzy! Just tell me what it is you wanted to tell me already!" I mumbled rolling my eyes as she walked ahead of me silently, she lead me out of the cafe and into an almost deserted parking lot.

"Get in the car Jace!" I looked at the vecicall she pointed her figure at. It was a small blue sedan that was well beat up and rusted, Classic woman driver! I watched he walk towards the car with a fear in the back of my mind, it wasn't a complicated question. Just one word. Why? She turned to me with serious face that meant business. "Jace, Get in the fucking car!" I only hesitated for a second before I walked to and climbed into the car. All the while wondering if this car would be my grave.

We both sat there, silent for a moment. Her breathing was hard and loud as it was the only sound flouting in the air. "I spent one morning with that woman, one fucking morning." Abruptly her voice broke through the chilling silence in a swift yet destructive movement. "Tell me Jace. Do I really want to know what it is she is hiding?" I felt my body tense as I looked over at Izzy. Her face was coved in a dark expression as she stared straight ahead.

"I don't know what you mean" I lied, looking away from her and down at my hands in my lap.

"I talked to Clary's mom today, she's a real -"

"What?" I interrupted without even thinking beforehand. She had got me to admit something, maybe not forwardly, but my reaction implied it. I needed to know, how and when she had talked to the bitch, but really there was a more important question that I needed to know. Was Clary there?

"Yeah, I answered Clary's phone for her and well, let's just say if I ever meet her mom. She is going to learn some manners." This may have sounded like a rude threat to anyone who hadn't of known Isabelle, but I knew her, and it was a gesture of her protective nature. I admired her, all her strength, all her will, but me and Isabelle were too much alike to ever truly trust in one another, were not trusting people.

"What did she say?" I asked with a cautious and quite tone.

"She asked me where the hell her daughter was." She laughed coldly to herself as she ran a hand through her hair. She was silent for a moment, perhaps thinking or maybe hesitating. "She asked me what I was doing with her phone. I told her Clary was away and that I was just dropping something off at her place when I heard her phone."

"Nice cover, did Clary tell you to say that?" I whispered as I watched her hand grasp the steering wheel in front of her, still staring off straight ahead.

"Clary doesn't know, and I would like to keep it that way. There's some stuff her mom said that well, I'd prefer she didn't hear" Ok, so Clary doesn't know, that's good. But what did she say to Isabelle, did she tell her anything about Clary's step father?

"What did she say?" Izzy head finally turned to me, a serious look in her deep blue eyes.

"She asked me, if I was there sleeping with the blond asshole. She said, he must have better taste then I thought if he's getting seconds on the side. Tell me Jace, who could she possibly be talking about?" I felt the air leave my lungs as I tried to hold it all back. There it was, the anger, the hatred, just below my skin, and it was fighting to get out.

"That bitch" I muttered, hearing the emotion sneak into my husky low voice. I couldn't hold it away as I clutched my fists in my lap. I just fought back the anger as it seeped from my pores.

"Jace" her voice was gentle, it was softer then I had ever heard it. No hint of irritation or aggression, just her. I looked up at her, pushing away my view of the fists that lie in my lap. "Was she talking about you?"

"Yes. She's fucking nuts."

"So you and Clary are-" God, why does everyone have to think I do that with every girl that's ever seen with me.

"No, she just thinks we are. She's met me twice and both times I wasn't even touching Clary and she would call Clary a whore for me just being there. Assuming that we were sleeping together, she's obsessed with making Clary out to be something she's not. Trying to convince her she's a horrible person" I tried to stop myself, but I just kept going, venting my frustrations into the thick air of Izzy's car. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"It's fine, I won't say anything" She let a deep breath fall as she looked away. "I thought you had an idea what she was hiding; I just hoped it wasn't what I thought it was."

"What do you think it was" I knew she probably had come to the conclusion that Clary was emotionally abused by her mother, but that wasn't even half the story. There was no way she knew about Clary's step dad from just that.

"Her mother sounds like a monster, saying horrible things about her. She's guarded and clearly avoiding her mother." then she stopped, taking a deep breath before she continued on. "Then there's the scars" I stopped breathing as my heart pounded furiously, threatening to burst from my chest.

"Wait, what scars." I had never seen a scar on Clary, or never really notice one. I tried not to stare at her, I really did, but I figured I probably would have noticed if she had a scar let alone more than one. Was I careless? Should I have looked closer? I mean I had the chances; I was just trying so hard not to stare, not to get carried away. She's so beautiful, how could he have scarred her?

"I guess you're not sleeping with her." I surpressed the erg to scream 'No I'm not; now just tell me about the scars before I burst.' "On Clary's back, there's a scar." I thought back to when I found Clary passed out in her living room in only her bra and jeans. I know that I would never have missed something like that.

"I've seen Clary's back before, I didn't see one." I was feeling skeptical, as I wondered why Izzy would be lying to me.

"See I was helping zip up a dress for Clary, and well, this isn't the kind of dress that you wear a bra with." She hinted at me. Her bra, covered the scar? That would explain why I hadn't seen it before.

"Ok so her bra covers the scar, what makes it so different, she could have got it a million ways."

"Jace, do you remember that tally system we used in school? You know the one where you would make a line every time something happened and every fifth one you would cross the other four." I nodded my head, listening for an explanation for why she was asking me about my memories of math. "Her scar is just like that, with six lines carved into the skin."

There was this feeling, this horrible feeling inside me. I felt sick, or I don't even think that could cover how disgusting I felt, but I just don't know. I could taste the repulsive emotions on my tongue as they threatened me. I knew she was abused, but the thought of someone doing that to her just made me angry sure but more than anything, it made me clench onto this plagued sensation. But no matter how bad my sorrow is, I need to know. Every detail.

"And how do you think she got that, what do you think all that stuff means." I had to look away; I had to clench my knees to busy my hands. I wanted to hit something, I just needed, something, I had to get it out, I just needed to.

"Jace I'm not stupid, Clary, she's different from everyone else, I know that. I can see it, the way she talks, how her mind drifts, that look in her eye. I think Clary has had a hard life, I think her mom's treated her like shit since day one, and I think someone's done terrible things to her. Who knows what her crazy step father did to her." so she figured- wait what? How could she have known about him?

"What do you know about Clary's step father? I didn't hear you explain that to me?" I heard the cold utterance of my words and didn't back down, I should have, but I refused to. There was no way she could have gotten anything about Clary's step father from any of that.

"Does it matter" she yelled, suddenly angry and defensive. "I'm right, aren't I?"

"You don't know anything! You shouldn't be digging into other peoples past! What gives you the right?" She didn't answer, just staring at me like she was holding back. "Come on then! Tell me; why on earth would Isabelle Lightwood, bother concerning herself with the personal life of others? What is so important?"

"Get out of my car Jace" She said calmly, but not without hearing the edge to her delivery, she was struggling with something, something I wanted to know.

I reached for the handle on the car and popped the door open, but turned back to her. "I just want to protect her. You have no idea what he took from her." I said before getting out of the car and closing the door.

She put the window down and looked me square in the eye. "You have no Idea what he took from me" She drove away letting her vented words hang in the air. She left me wondering what kind of man Clary's step father was. Was he only a problem to his family, or did the whole word wish to be rid of his pathetic soul.

Could it be the right thing, to kill a man who has taken so much?

...

"Jace" I heard Clary call from the door of my uncle's place. I jumped at her voice, lifting my head from my hands. I was sitting on a dusty old couch in the living room; I hadn't expected her to be home so soon. Or was it, that time had become lost to me?

"Come on in" I called back to her, slightly afraid of the reaction I would have to seeing her. I stood; confused as to what it is I was doing here. I looked around trying to remember what it was I came here to do, but that memory was buried in a corner in the back of my struggling mind.

I listened to her footsteps, loud as they approached, and with every step I felt this strange ach inside me, like the one from before, but mixed with the excitement that Clary's presence always brought me. She finally rounded the corner into the room that I was standing in, and the first thing that caught my eye about her, was the smile on her face. Sure I had seen her smile before, but she never looked, happy like she did now. She was glowing.

"What are you doing?" She asked as she leaned against the door frame with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Just taking a minute to think about some stuff I need to do here." I shuffled my hands into my pockets, suddenly unsure what to do with them. I watched her study the room with her keen emerald eyes, god I love those eyes.

"It could use a tune up, what are you planning to do?" She asked her eyes still focused away from me.

"Well I have the upstairs all cleaned out, I just have to finish this floor and the basement then I was going to paint." I explained my plans to her all while she stared off.

When I was finished, she finally looked at me. "Need any help? I don't know how great I am at moving large objects, but, I can paint if nothing else."

"I could probably use a hand, but it could be a bit, this is a big house and there are only two of us."

"Jace, the world is not against you, you don't need to do everything alone, not everyone hates you." she breathed out with a light laugh. I just looked at her, confused. When I didn't speak she finally explained, "What about Alec or Magnus, I'm sure they would be more than willing to give you a hand." What was this side to her?

I nodded, afraid to speak. I reached for my phone and dialed Alec's number. I turned away from her, sitting back down on the couch.

"Jace" He said as he answered, as if to acknowledge me. "What a delight to hear from you!" his voice sarcastic and teasing.

"I know, I tend to have that effect on people" I joked with him. I couldn't remember getting to be like this with any of my friends back in high school, with them every joke was harsh or crude. But with Alec, I felt like it was nothing more than a greeting, as if he was saying "I missed you".

"It may seem so!" he laughed. "So what can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if you were busy tomorrow?"

"Well, I may be going out later on, but I should be free for the whole morning and afternoon. Why, what are you thinking?"

"See, I'm fixing my place up, moving some stuff out and painting you know. And I was hoping maybe, you and Magnus would be free to help out with me and Clary tomorrow."

"Wow, I can't believe Jace Wayland is asking me to help him out. This is a day for the books!"

"It's cool if you don't want to, I would understand completely" I felt the couch dip and I looked up to find Clary's worried glance.

"Jace, are you kidding me?" He laughed, and I wasn't quite sure what it was he meant. "If you can be the guy who asks for help, I can be the friend who gives it to you." Friend? Is that what we are now? I would like it if we were, but I still have so much to make up to him.

"Who knew having friends would make everything so much easier." Clary lay her head on my shoulder, wrapping her arms around my free arm as she leaned into me. I relaxed into the back of the couch smiling at the feeling of her against me.

"Jace you want to know something? All those people you surrounded yourself with back then, I knew they weren't your friends. You didn't have friends, and neither did I. They only difference is, I didn't need friends, but you, you always did, whether you would admit it or not." I listen to his voice; I heard the memories in his vocals, all the shadowed thoughts.

He knew me so well, but that's what happens when you have an enemy. In any fight, you look for your opponent's weakness. You have to know them, how they move, how they think and their reactions to everything. Alec knew everything he would have truly needed to, but he had never used it against me, he had never even tried to defend himself against me, not once. Alec has always been my friend, I may not have known it then, but I knew it now.

"Well I guess it's my turn then."

"For what?"

"To be your friend."

"Well that settle's it." He lightly laughed. "So where do you want me and Magnus to meet you?" I gave him the address and some directions, needing help from Clary with both jobs.

"Alright, we will pick up some breakfast." Alec offered.

"Sure man, See you tomorrow around eleven?"

"Yup, see you then."

We said are goodbyes and I hung up. Clary was still with me on the couch. She hadn't moved away yet, which I had fully expected her to do a long time ago. Not that I didn't mind. The only thing was that I could feel that imp in the back of my head pushing at the question, pestering me.

"When are you going to tell him how much you regret what you did?" She asked calmly.

"He already knows, I don't need to make excuses, he doesn't need them. Not from me. I just need to, make it up to him in some way."

"Jace sometimes, people just want you to look them in the eye and say what it is you need to say. Because you can never be sure how a person feels till you hear it from them." Does he want to hear that from me, is that what he wants?

"What if I don't know what to say to him?"

She laughed and leaned out to look at me. Backing off just enough for me to see her beautiful smile. "Jace Wayland always knows what to say! He is brilliantly charming with an ego that can defiantly get on my nerves!" She teased. "But when he listens, his heart always tells him exactly what he should say."

"He sounds like a hell of a guy; I bet he's fucking gorgeous"

She laughed loudly "See, there's that ego I was talking about"

"Well maybe I like getting on your nerves, Your kind of cute when you angry." I poked at her as I turned on the couch to be facing her with my arm draped over the back. She laughed again, and I felt my stomach flip at the adorable noise. "You know, I really like this, us being together."

She stayed silent, looking away from me. For a moment I almost thought that she hadn't heard me, till she spoke once again. "Why did you do it Jace? Why did you find him?"

"When you came in here to find me, you had this big smile on your face, you were glowing. You were like that this morning too, when you were telling me about him. I just really like that smile and I wanted to see it more often"

"Is there a reason why you're extra corny today?" She lifted an eyebrow at me, teasing me. She really was getting more comfortable with me, or I hope that's what it is.

"Hey now Fray! Let's have less bite in your bark." I winked at her as I smirked. "You just bring that side out in me."

"Well, if you're already being cheesy. You can make me smile to; you know when I'm not frustrated with you."

I made a confused face "I frustrate you?" I mocked hurt as she rolled her eyes at me.

"So, you staying here tonight?" She asked casually as she picked up a stray throw pillow from the floor.

"Didn't we already have his conversation, I have a date with your couch, remember?"

"Oh-right, I just thought that you may want a place with more privacy." What was she talking about? Did she want me to sleep here all of a sudden? But she really seemed like she wanted me there.

I had no Idea what she meant, so I spoke my mind. "I don't understand."

"Forget I said it, I don't know why I would even ask that." She ducked her head and let out a breath. I thought on it for a moment, why would I need privacy? For fuck sakes I'm blond! She thought that because I was sleeping on her couch I couldn't bring women home, she didn't know.

"Clary, I haven't slept with anyone for weeks, and I don't plan on looking for a one night fuck anytime soon. I don't know why, but I'm not." I assured her, not sure of the type of reaction she would have.

After a moment she replied "Alright, I'm heading home." I watched her stand from the couch and put her hands in her pockets. A small smile present on her face. "Don't forget to lock the door when you come in, ok?"

"I won't I promise, I'll just be a minuet." I said as she started to walk away.

"Ok" She called back to me, but I was practically lost to the world. My eyes were fixed to her back as she walked away from me. The sight of it was like an instant reminder of the cruelty her life had suffered, but I still questioned the very reality of a scar on Clary. She was so perfect, perfect people normally don't have scars, but she is perfect, so I guess even if she has one, no matter how horrible, she will always be perfect. This deep feeling inside me is painful, but soothing at the same time, like fire and ice, but what could it be, can you please tell me?

* * *

><p>So there it is guys, the new chapter!<p>

It's got some serious inner feeling from Jace, Plus a little foreshadowing if you can find it ;D But I don't think you will. None the less good luck if you try!

Also the Izzy secret, that's a real good one, just wait and see. Everybody in this story has a secret, but guess what?! Next chapter I'll tell you Magnus's secret! And how Alec and Magnus met.

The next Chapter, is going to be freaking long! I'm looking to cover all of Day 4 next time and even if I don't it will be a HUGE chapter!

So Guys

Review

tell what you think

Make a prediction

Suggestion

I also want to know what you like more, Jace Pov's Or Clary Pov's

JACE VS CLARY!

Personally I like writing from Jace more, but I still want to know.


	16. Shame

Day 4

"Clary" I heard a distant male voice call to me as I felt a touch on my shoulder, but I couldn't see him. Not though the darkness. "How can you sleep this much? It's already eleven and the guys will be here any minute" Jace? Was that the voice's owner? What was he doing here, it's not safe? He can't be here, not now. "Clary, get your lazy ass out of bed" wait I'm dreaming, I have to be, right?

The doors to my hiding Place flew open and the light of the outside world surround the figure I feared most in the world. He was like a plagued shadow in the light, fighting off the bright lights that revealed his form to the world.

I screamed as I saw him reach out for me.

And suddenly it was all gone again, I was home, sitting up in my bed with my hand grasped tightly onto Jace's wrist; I hadn't even realized I'd grabbed him. He was sitting on the edge of the bed looking down on me, a look of confusion on his face. The light shining through the window of my bedroom, was sitting directly onto him, bright and shining against his golden hair. His relationship with it was so much different, it suited him. In its ray, he resembled an angel, pure and almost untouchable.

I let go of his wrist and smiled. "Sorry. You startled me a bit."

His eyes crawled below my skin

"Are you ok" his voice was soft and calm as his eyes surrounded my own. I nodded my head afraid my voice may betray my mask. "I'm sorry; I should have maybe tried to wake you with a more gentle approach."

"It would have happened even then- it's fine, don't worry about It." he watched me silently.

Quiet air consumed the room for what felt like an eternity of frozen time.

Then came, his soft tone, "I have no right to ask, so I won't, but I'm still sorry. Whatever it is, it's not real, you don't need to be scared." his words held nothing but truth, and thin lines of his hidden sorrow.

He had been like this ever since I had found him in his uncle's place- I could see a fear that owned him through sadness. But I couldn't figure out what it is that turned him so, burdened. And to be honest, I was afraid to ask- even if he sometimes made me feel brave, he could still send shivers throughout my petite body.

"Why are-" I started grasping onto my courage like a safety rope, only to be interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing. I swear to fucking god, phones solely exist to interrupt people, mainly me!

He reached into his pocket with a low grown and pressed it to his ear. "Hey" he said. He listened intently and let out a sigh of relief. "Alright see you in twenty!" he hung up the phone without another word and shoved it back I his jean pocket. "Thank god their running late." he said with a small laugh.

I took in his appearance. His hair was ruffled and ready for the day, his chin freshly shaved and smooth. Then it struck me. He's not wearing a shirt again; does he always walk around like that? God that's distracting-wait what's that. On his right shoulder was a mark that caught my eye, it was small and star shaped. I involuntarily reached out to touch it, feeling his warmth under my hand as I ran my thumb over the strange mark. His voice caught me off guard, but I didn't move away as he spoke, "It's a birthmark, my dad had it too. When I was a kid, he liked to say it meant I was a star. But we both knew it was just a mark." my fingertips grazed lightly down over the mark then back up over it, my fingertips just barely touching his soft skin.

I held my hand there, looking him in the eyes once more as I spoke. "Everyone is marked in someway Jace, the only thing that matters, is how you see your mark." I felt the memory burn into my back, reminding me of the pain, but most of all, the shame.

"I guess so" he said as I took my hand away.

"Alright get out of my room and put a freaking shirt on. I'll be out in a minute."

He stood up and strolled to the door, "You know, I think I may stay like this all day, I'm sure Magnus and Alec won't mind, not at all." he teased, stopping and turning slightly as he reached my door. "Not that I don't think you mind, the women never do." I picked up a pillow and chucked it at him as I caught eye of the gigantic smirk encased across his face.

He laughed and dodged it with complete grace. Ass.

...

I was just getting outside when a car pulled into Jace's driveway. I walked over to him, feeling him relax as I stepped beside him, keeping my eyes planted on the old four door car. "You ok?" He asked in a calm voice. He was still thinking about what had happened earlier, still worrying, god I wish he would just let something go. I could feel his glance on the side of my face, searching for an expression, I tried to hide.

"I'm fine Jace, everyone has bad dreams." I said as Alec and Magnus emerged from the car.

Magnus was dressed in a black cloth Jacket and a bright blue tee shit that was splatted with different colored paints and jeans that had holes and what looked to me like nail polish stains all over them. His dark hair was sticking up in almost every direction as always. He carried a tray of Starbucks Styrofoam cups and a medium sized bag.

Something about the difference between Alec and Magnus caught my eye. Magnus was Flashy, with his wild hair, purple painted nails and different styled clothing. Whereas Alec's hair was only slightly out of place, his fingers clean and his clothing (Worn jeans, a grey tee shirt and a leather jacket) were casually regular. They were so different, but you could plainly see just how little they cared about how the other dressed.

"Hey Jace, Clary." Alec spoke up as he and Magnus reached were we we're standing on the porch.

"Hey" I returned as I caught site of Jace's nod.

"We come bearing gifts!" Magnus said as he passed me a coffee and what looked to be a blueberry muffin.

"Thank you" the words tumbling from my mouth in my still groggy state as I Sipped from the cup.

We all settled into a seat and chowed down. Exempt for Jace who hadn't touched his muffin. He simply fiddled with the cup in him hands.

"So what I it you need us for Jace?" Alec asked as he wiped the coffee off his lips with his sleeve. He seemed to have noticed how Jace was acting.

"Um, well I have the whole upstairs ready to be painted-except for one room that I haven't quite figured out what to do with it yet" a shadow of inner conflict encased Jace's expression as he clearly tried to suppress the emotion. "Other than that I have furniture I need to move out on the main floor. So you two can either help clary paint or help me lug."

Magnus almost immediately smirked and turned his wild eyes towards me. "Well I'm not much for manual labor, so I guess that means I will be joining you my dear." He let out a small laugh -as I rolled my eyes- and turned to Alec. "Do you think I can leave you in Jace's presence without him trying to seduce you?"

"No promises" Jace muttered with a shit eating grin covering his flirty, cocky ass face.

"Go easy on him; he's always had a weak spot for-"

"Magnus!" Alec cut him off with a warning tone. This was clearly nothing far from regular behavior for the two.

He simply smirked to himself and let out a sigh. "I guess my husband doesn't want me to discuss his sexual turn ons" Alec appeared to turn a shade whiter as Magnus spoke to Jace. "Such. A. Pity!" Then he turned on me and I felt the fear reach down into my stomach and pull to my throat at the sight of his mischief filled expression. "Clary my dear, what turns a girl such as yourself into a raging sex machine" Ok, I'm going to be honest I had expected him to ask me something ridiculous, but not that ridiculous, and I had never thought that he would ask me a question that would actually make me think.

"Um" was all that escaped my mouth. I looked first over at Alec who seemed to be well amused at his husband's actions. I then turned my gaze to find Jace- amusement gone- with a thoughtful look on his face. He lifted his eyes to meet mine and winked at me, telling me to just play along.

Was it weird that, I understood what he was saying to me? He hadn't even opened his mouth, he just, acted like he always did, and I understood. Am I becoming to invested in him, or is it normal for people to just know each other so well? I haven't even known him that long!

"Alcohol, it's the secret to every woman. Don't tell them I told you. Not that it matters , you and Alec are Gay and its nothing Jace obviously didn't know."

"Amen to That" Alec Laughed, clearly indicating Jace's man whore habits.

"Well I certainly didn't know that was how to get into your pants!" Jace muttered. This side of him, I'd come to understand it as his false skin, like armor to the delicate flesh he so freely showed me when it was just the two of us. I could understand this act he put up, his actions were so similar to my own, yet his weren't to protect himself, not really. He hid, to protect others, from himself, not because he needed a shield.

"So now you're thinking about how to get in my pants?" I smirked at him.

"You can't blame him Clary, I mean come on, your one fantastic girl" Magnus winked at me with that big smile on his face. "You're Beautiful, artistic, kind and have a fiery personality that matches your hair." I found myself staring at Magnus as he spoke. There was something off about this guy, something that made me question him further than I probably should have, but what can I say, I'm paranoid.

…..

I could feel his wild eyes, watching me, studying, and learning. He wasn't looking for an answer, no, that wasn't the look in his eyes, it was more like, he wanted a result. Not an answer, but a reaction. I had never not been able to tell what it was, a people wanted from me, but him, all I could see was that curios, dangerous looming glance that pressed upon the side of my face as he chatted on and on.

He didn't even say anything; it was just blabbering on about one subject then somehow moving onto another without warning. It's like he didn't even know what he wanted to talk about; he just simply spoke whatever came to his mind. But, I found it comforting for some reason-even with him watching me so closely- I found that the sound of his voice and light smile eased my mind.

As he talked on, I simply, continued to paint over the bland white walls with the defined honey dew green color Jace had given us. This was our second room we were painting out of the four, and even after spending so much time in this room, I still wondered what this room had once been to Jace. Was this the room his uncle slept in, the office that his desk sat in, or was this once the room that Jace had laid his head down at night? Could this be simply a place of memory, of cold emotions that sat at the base of his core? Could this room represent some past that made him smile that he so often had to fake? I asked myself a new question with every stroke of my fine brush, only to tell myself over and over again, that it was not my place to ask.

"Clary?" Magnus questioned. I turned my head slightly to look at him, his brush having stopped high up as he tilted his head my way.

"Yes?"

"Jace" He started, his smile fading a little. "I can see he's trying, and I know that, but can you tell me if you think it's working, is he becoming a better person?" There was a worry on his face I hadn't seen before, he was normally so happy, so put together. Was he so troubled bellow that skin of his?

"Why would you ask me?" I pulled my hand away from the wall, bringing it to rest easy at my side as I stepped to face Magnus. He looked away, staring at the wall for a moment, while he composed his answer.

"People like you and me; we know things about people, things that we learned along the way. But I can't tell, and your so much closer to him, you guys have this silent connection that simplifies understanding." I tried to focus on an answer for him, trying to not think about what he meant when he compared us.

"Jace is the guy he's always been, he's the guy Alec knew him to be." Magnus stiffened. "The one he hid for almost his entire life, still sometimes tries to hide. He's a complicated subject, but if you look, you will see just a lost little boy looking to prove just all he can be." Finally Magnus lifted his head to look at me, a question present in his eyes. "He won't hurt Alec, not again, not ever again. Jace is going to do everything in his power to earn Alec's forgiveness and even when he gets it, he won't stop looking for it till he thinks he's done enough, which he will never believe he has."

"You believe that?"

"I do" I responded, letting the room fall silent. After a moment my tone broke the non-sound filled air "What did you mean by 'People like you and me', how are we alike?"

"I would know that look on your face anywhere." His voice was calm and steady. "Growing up, I had that same look. Before I met Alec I had a fucked life, my dad beat the shit out of me every day of my childhood, other kids taunted me for being different, and then I got involved in drugs" He set the paint brush down and rolled up his sleeves, showing the gory needle scars that covered his arms. I wanted to cringe at the thought of a desperate Magnus pressing a needle into his arm. "I know the look of an abused person, the sorrow in their eyes, the untrusting movements and the present anger that sits deep inside their skin."

I was quiet for a long time, staring at his arms that he still held out to me. I thought for what felt like forever as to what I should be saying to him, but all the things I should have been asking, should have been feeling, weren't there inside me. Instead I found myself wondering something that surprised me. "And Alec helped you?" I felt sorry for him, but I also envied him for what he had.

A smile spread over him as he dropped his arms and picked up his paint brush again. "Yes, he made everything right in the world. It was like, I suddenly found someone I wanted to be different for, I wanted to be better for him." He talked softly as he began painting again, his tone, not far from blissful. I felt my heart jump at the words he so enjoyed.

"How did you meet Alec?" I asked starting to paint again, pretending as if he hadn't just peeled back layers of my skin as easy as if I were a freaking banana. Not that I was angry about it, because to be honest, I wasn't. Any other time, I think I would have walked out that door and never came back. But things are different now, my life is changing before my eyes, and I'm willing to let this odd man know me. Perhaps because it meant that I didn't have to hide with him, like I didn't hide with Jace.

"I was hosting a party at my place, for graduating. My dad was a rich guy and I wanted to trash his house as a going away present. I put up flyers in all the known addict areas.

…_FLASHBACK…_

_"What the hell do you-" the dark haired boy started with an anger that normally would have faced me. But it doesn't this time, not now. _

_"I want you to leave, now!" I snarled at him._

_"What the hell, I haven't done anything to you! And what right do you have to kick me out!" He forced at me. _

_"This is my party and, we both know this isn't your scene. Good kids should be in bed by now!" The glare that left his blue eyes was so strong that it both killed and teased me. That sounds weird. _

_"Well I guess it's a good thing I'm not a good kid." He looked back towards my home, well what was left of it. "Look, if I did something to piss you off, sorry, I'm just here for a hook up." _

_"You're not into drugs and you're better off not trying them at all." I reached into my pocket and pulled out a smoke, lighting it as I spoke. "Didn't anyone ever tell you drugs are bad for you?" _

_"Oh, you're one to talk, look at yourself, I saw you earlier, popping pills like candy. Who are you to tell me what I can and can't do?" God he's dam bratty! _

_"I'm a screw up with no future. How about you, I bet your pretty smart, maybe to have a dream or two?" _

_"Don't act like you know me!" _

_"You're that kid who puts everyone else above himself, who's self-conscious about everything he does and is left to his thoughts in a way that turns him into this sad, self-hating child ashamed of his own shadow!" God those eyes, they were just so, intense, like they were pleading with me as I spoke. His mouth opened and closed, clenching his jaw hard. "What's your name?" I asked letting out a soft sigh. _

_"Alec Lightwood, and yours?" _

_"Did you know, your name means 'defending men' in Greek?"_

_"I've heard!" He laughed _

_"I'm Magnus Bane" I grinned at the sight of his smile. "How about we take a walk? You can tell me why you're trying to ruin your life, and if I can't change your mind, we can come back."_

_His happy image faded for a moment as his eyes turned back to the party, his face was thoughtful and unsure. Yet he said, "Sure", with a sound of conflict that held resident with Caution. I hope I can change his mind. _

…_.END FLASHBACK…._

"So you changed his mind?" I asked when Magnus finished telling me his story, wait, correction his and Alec's story.

"No honey, I failed and now he's driven his life into a bottomless pit of failure, doesn't he look like a drug addict" his voice was lined with sarcasm as he smiled over at me! "Yes, I got him to change his mind, and he changed my view on life, whether he realized it or not. But enough about me! I want to know what the whole deal with you and Jace is!"

"There is no deal. He's just someone from high school, crashing on my couch."

"That's not something people who went to high school together do, and it's even less likely when they didn't even speak to each other before a few weeks ago." I gave him a blank stare as if to ask him how he knew so much, "Alec's a gossip" he explained.

"Jace refused to leave, and I don't really like cops. So I just took him in. even though I didn't have enough room for his ego"

"I'm sure that's it"

…..

"Hey guys me and Magnus are heading over next door to get some beer, you two want us to bring you back some?" I called out to the two shirtless men carrying a couch into the back yard. They both whipped they're heads around, with an excited expression shared across both faces.

"Hell yes! We just got a call from Izzy and Simon; they are on their way with a pizza." Alec said as they both set down the couch in a tired effort. When I looked around, and from what I could see it appeared to be the last thing left, except for another couch, the one Jace had been sitting on last night.

"They just decided to bring us a pizza?"

"That has Izzy written all over it, always ready to snoop" Magnus spoke out as he laughed to himself.

"She wanted to talk about the plans me and Magnus have with her tonight. She wants us to go to this club."

"Guys, lets discuss this after we have alcohol!" Jace puts with his signature tone that represents his false egotistical nature!

"Alright Jace! Common Clary let's go get the baby his bottle!" The older man spoke with a wink. Jace made a rude hand gesture has Magnus led me out the door, chatting my ear off about how he planned to get wasted tonight. I liked to idea.

We walked slowly, laughing together as He spoke. I simply watched my feet half listing to him. You know, I don't remember when I started acting like this. I don't remember when I had started laughing all the time, smiling, had it been like this a day ago? Had I been happy a week ago? Was this happening now, am I finally going to live my life? Is this all because of Jace?

"Welcome home Clarissa" Her failure Voice was like a shriek of pain as the air left my lungs. When had I stopped playing this game safe, when did I fail to check every corner before rounding it? When I lifted my head, I met eyes with the dragon lady that guarded hell, Jocelyn. "Well, we both know you never left" She snarled, god I didn't miss that, or her at all.

"Who are you?" Magnus asked

"Magnus-" I started but was interrupted by the witch.

"I'm her mother" The words burned deep in my soul, scratching at my insides and forcing shame to bleed from my pores.

"Really? You aren't at all alike" Thank god!

"She's not my real mother" I spoke out.

"Being adopted, she wasn't gifted with my looks" She replied seemly uninterested.

"Yes, well gladly she didn't get much else!" He laughed bitterly.

"Magnus, can you go get Jace for me?" I asked looking up at his face, finding a cautious look, but also a protective expression. It was odd, but that's what I saw.

"Clarissa, aren't you going to introduce me? Your manners could really use some work!"

I ignored her and instead focused on Magnus who now looked down on me, studying me. Any other time I would have hid from the world, but I needed him to leave, I needed him to see this feeling inside me, this feeling even I myself can't label. "Please" I lightly willed him with my words, begging him with my eyes. "I need Jace, right now"

He turned without a word, and went towards the house. He walked at a fast pace, not running.

"I don't understand you Clary. Don't you remember what your father told you? No one is ever going to want to be your friend! And the only people, who will ever love you, are your parents."

"I never knew my parents!" I pushed my words back at her, turning my head to look at her angered disgusting face.

"How do you look yourself in the mirror? You can't feel anything, can you? You're just another piece of trash left to rot." She stared me down, willing me to fall beneath her words like a ragdoll. "We really did a number on you didn't we?"

"I do care; I can look myself in the mirror because I'm still human, because I do have friends and because I do love them." I expected to be talking about Simon, but I found the words reminded me more of Jace.

"Really? Because I'm sure your father would love to hear about that, he never liked sharing you much. You're his after all, but you know you're acting out; it could be your punishment. I could let him explain to your so called friends; exactly what it is that happens when people don't listen to their parents!" She threatened. I felt a pain in my chest as the reality of what she said sunk in, as I embraced the idea that these people being near me could be dangerous for them. Just being seen with me, could destroy their lives. It was weird; I couldn't remember a time before when she had spoken like she actually thought Luke was a bad guy.

"What do you want?" I said through a defeated stare.

"I want you to give this whole act up, stop pretending Clary, the closest thing you have to people who give a damn about you, is me and Luke. I want you to do what I tell you, or I will tell him. I will tell him how you avoided me, kicked me out, how I caught you hanging around with these people and I will tell him how a shirtless man answered your door, Oh yeah he would love that last one.

* * *

><p>Ok, so I have to explain some things don't I?<p>

Well first off I need to apologize again about how late this chapter is, I'd worked really hard on it and then had some huge computer problems and lost half my hard drive. This is a long chapter, but it's still not as long and amazing as how it was when I first wrote it, but I did my best to recreate it. I spent quite a bit of time writing on my phone, however I couldn't post from it, so that means within the next week or so I will have the next chapter Up. I'm really sorry guys; don't hate me for making you wait so long to move along with the story.

Also I wanted to let you guys know that I will now be using a Tumblr account to post snippets and whatever I feel like posting. Feel free to follow me, ask me questions, send me stuff, whatever you feel like doing!

The link is on my profile! I don't have much posted yet. BUT SOON!

Go read it

Follow me!

NOW REVIEW!

You guys know the drill, I want questions, ideas, suggestions, I just like when you guys talk to me!

I know you guys wanted to hear more from Jace- I got that much from the messages that filled my inbox, and no this wasn't from Jace but I had had this all planned out before hand, and you will be hearing from Jace in the next chapter (He may even do something bad XD).

AGAIN REVIEW!


	17. Distant Thoughts

"Jace" Magnus called from the door way, there was something in his voice, something I couldn't recognize, but it gave me chills.

I turned form Alec in the main hallway and met the chilling eyes of Magnus. He looked back at me as if I was supposed to know what he was thinking, and I did know. "Where is she?" I asked trying to hide any form of worry that may have come to me.

"She's just outside her house, she needs you, I suggest you hurry" His voice was even as he warned me with his stare.

I pushed passed him unsure what to expect. Maybe Izzy had confronted clary, maybe it was all a joke, or maybe- It wasn't a maybe anymore, it was real. That witch is here, again.

My heart ached at the site that I looked upon, Clary's mother had her hand grasped tightly under Clary's jaw, I could just see the slight scrape marks from her nails from where I was standing, they were obnoxiously red against her pale skin. Clary looked up at her, watching as the woman's lips moved to form what I could only predict to be vile speech. Clary's expression was that of what it used to be, numb, but fearful. I stepped forward-trying to move from my frozen stance, and just caught what clary replied "fine".

The response fueled me as much as it baffled me; I strolled over to them without hesitation and grasped my hand around that pathetic woman's arm, yanking it away from Clary. "Clary, why don't you go finish what you were doing, I'll catch up with you." I suggested with my eyes burning into her mother.

"Sure Jace." She replies after a moment's hesitation. I don't look at her, I probably should, at least to check and see if she was ok, but my focus belonged to her mother. I listened as she left, paying close attention to the soft sound of a door closing.

"If you don't leave, I'm going to report you for harassment." I warned letting go of her arm, and glaring down into her pathetic eyes.

"You don't seem like the type to like cops!" She bitterly chuckled. I hated how right she was. Ever since I was little, all I can remember a police officer doing was being too late! "You remind me of him, far too possessive of her. With that dark shady look in your eyes" She laughed, "You could be related!".

Then I was gone. My heart fell a thousand feet, through ice and pain as her words violated the air around me, and within me. It was a cruel comparison, but in some ways I feared a possible resemblance. I've always been an angry person; I've always used and abused people. But to that extent? Could I be similar to him? No, I have more control than that, I have morals and I have Clary. No man could ever be a monster to Clary! "I think you're getting possessive mixed up with protective!" I shot back at her as I found my resolve again.

"You're pathetic!"

"And what does that make you? You're the monster who's done this to her! You have used, abused and practically forced her into misery! What gives you the right to pretend you're worth her?" I yelled back at her.

"She's simply ungrateful! I took her in-"

"You think that makes it better? She would have been better off having not known you! She's a better person than you could ever be! And she deserved better, a mother who loved her and a father who took care of her!" I rambled on in anger, slowing my voice as I spoke my next words. "But you deprived her of that!"

"What do you know? I'm sure you use her plenty! Look at you, fighting your slut's battles!"

Stop calling her that!" I said fisting my hands," She's not my slut, nor is she anyone's slut! You're the fucking whore here!"

"I will call my daughter by any name I please!"

"And stop calling her that! She's not your daughter, you're not a mother. All you are is a throbbing nuisance! Just leave!"

"I can't wait, till you're gone!" The words came as though her voice was laced with venom. I was struck numb as she turned and walked away.

I didn't watch her; I simply bowed my head, attempting to calm down! I couldn't explain what was happening to me today. I could be making excuses but, I think it had something to do with how I found Clary this morning. I know, I know, everything is always about her, I must be the most predictable guy in the world. But, there was something, strange, about that look in her eye. She looked terrified, at first I thought it was because you know, I startled her, but then I saw something else. She wasn't just relieved that it was just me, she seemed like she had been expecting someone else. I tried to seem calm, while I panicked inside. But I can't explain it, I just don't know, I'm just over thinking things I guess.

I took a long breath and walked into Clary's place. I walked in, not bothering to call out or warn her, she knew it was me. I found her sitting on the kitchen counter sideways with a leg hanging lazily over the edge and her head leaning on a cabinet at the perfect angle to look out the window over her sink. She had a half empty bottle of beer between her legs, and she ran her fingers over the rim, as if to distract them. "Is she gone?" She didn't turn to look at me, she simply spoke. I watched as she lifted the bottle to her mouth.

"Yeah, she's gone" the bottle tilted and poured the liquid to disappear behind her lips. God, her lips. I went and sat on the countertop across from her. "You know? Sitting like that, you kinda remind me of a teenager."

She cracked a light smile, but still refused to look at me. "Is that so?

"Yeah" I sighed in a playful manner. "Though, most teenagers aren't quite as beautiful as you are." Her expression becomes unreadable, as she stares out the window. I look at her and think back to any time I may have called a woman beautiful, but there aren't many women like Clary. Clary is the true definition of beauty, with her soulful green eyes that contrasted with her blazing, curvy hair. She was something to be admired, placed in a museum to be praised for not only her fine skin, but for her exquisite heart. No, there aren't many women like Clary.

"Jace I don't- Isabelle and Simon are here" Her voice leaking with patience as she spoke. She turned to me and I could see it. A tear not shed, but taunting her as it sat against the lid of her right eye. I wanted to reach out and brush it away, but I was afraid to touch her, because if I did, I might find that there's nothing there, nothing but the nightmare to my fantasy.

"We should probably go see them" I said calmly as I climbed down off the counter and turned to help her. But she refused the hand I offered, and jumped down on her own. Keeping her gaze to the floor, she picked up a six pack of beer off the counter; leaving behind the one she had already half drank.

I watched her leave, gripping the counter in slight irritation and worry. She so suddenly became distant, and it seemed on propose. Could it be my fault?

I reached down and picked up the half empty bottle of beer Clary had left behind, pressing it to my lips and chugging down the liquid with what I imaged to be a grim expression.

There was this pain that had begun to build in my chest, it grew with every beat of my heart and it occurred to me that my heart was possibly the problem. I'd been trying to avoid thinking about it, because if I did, it would be like admitting that I had done something I was told not to do. "To love, is to destroy" his voice crashed in my ears- his words a scar on the surface of my heart- as if he were a ghost in memory come to remind me of the pain that love brought. If- oh who am I kidding? It's not an "If" anymore, it's a "do", I do love Clary.

I love Clary.

…..

Simon and Isabelle drug us to this club, called pandemonium. It's not the first time I've been here. In fact I was rather popular here; you couldn't turn a corner without seeing a girl I'd gotten to "know". This place, it was nothing more than liquor stinking whores dancing to shitty music, while guys played a game called "Am I getting laid tonight?"

I watched as Izzy danced with Simon. He was awkward and obviously uncomfortable, but Izzy seemed to enjoy his un-sureness, laughing and directing him to the beat. The Isabelle I knew, would have taunted him, laughed at him and made him fall beneath himself in embarrassment. But this Isabelle didn't care that he couldn't dance; all she cared about was that he was trying, for her.

I looked down at Clary. We were leaning against a wall in the back of the club. She stood silently, pensive. Her hair was tied up into what looked like a restricting bun that I personally wasn't fond of. But her dress, it complimented her body perfectly and all it was, was a simple black dress. I felt myself becoming drawn to her legs, wanting to feel her smooth skin. I needed a distraction.

"Do you want a drink?" I offered breaking her from her trance. She looked up at me and I met her eyes with what I hoped was a realistic smile, "My treat."

"Sure" Her voice came out slightly playful. "Just don't slip anything into my drink" she teased referring to our first meeting, when I'd sat with her at the bar.

I laughed because it felt right to. She remembered. "What do you want?"

"I'm feeling whiskey shots. That ok?"

"Whatever you want." I smiled and turned towards the bar calling out "I'll be right back" as I walked away.

I pushed through the crowds of people carelessly. Finding my way to the bar and smiling at the bartender, manipulating her. "Can I get eight whiskey shots?" She looked kinda slutty with dark hair and a seemingly stunning body; normally she would probably be my type. But, I wasn't all that interested.

She poured my drinks and brought them over to me, meeting my eyes with her own. "You know, if you stick around and chat with me, you can drink free?" She attempted to persuade me.

"No, I'm here with someone", I told her. I looked back, searching for Clary. What I saw when I found her changed my mind. This guy had made his way over to her; he stood in front of her with his body to the side. I couldn't see the expression on her face, but she didn't seem to egger to get away from him. "You know what, never mind" I said turning back to the flirty bartender. "I'll stick around" I can't tell you why I did it. I shouldn't have done it, but I did. And I will probably regret it.

….

"My names Kyle" He was tall, tan-skinned with dark hair that tumbled over his forehead and down his neck in curls. I noticed he had long eyelashes, which reminded me of a girls. He was becoming irritating, standing to close, jabbering on about nothing particularly important for the last ten minutes. He'd only just introduced himself.

"Clary." I said nodding my head at him casually. I looked towards the bar, trying to catch a glimpse of Jace through the thick crowd. But Kyle moved in front of me, blocking my view further. God, where is Jace?

"That's a really pretty name." He said with a sly tone. He seemed intimidating, arrogant, but also, unsettling. Kyle looked down at me with his hazel-green eyes that felt threatening, and dangerous. He took a step forward, further invading my personal space.

"Thanks" I muttered, trying not to look small, but I feared it was too late. I knew the look a man with terrible intentions wore, and to Kyle, it looked natural.

"What's the matter Clary? You look pale." He reached his hand up and laid it on my cheek.

"Just, get off me" I said angrily. Having had enough I turned my head away from his hand and attempted to step away. But he grabbed my wrists in each of his hands and used his body to crush me into the wall. I tried to squirm away, I even tried to knee him, but he had me practically paralyzed.

"Don't be like that" he spat before roughly attacking my lips with his own. I was trapped, I couldn't get away from him and no one was paying attention to what was going on over here.

Where's Jace?

I need Jace!

….

She wouldn't stop talking. All she did was fucking talk. I don't even know what she was going on about, it's not like I stayed to pay attention to her. I stayed to get drunk!

Down went shot #12.

Why am I doing this? Why am I sitting here wallowing in alcohol? Clary was talking to that guy, but it's not like it matters, she probably knew him from somewhere. Did I really abandon her because I was jealous? Is that it? No, this isn't my fault! She came here with me and then she wasn't with me. Oh god I'm kidding myself! I know Clary, and she didn't do anything wrong. I'm just, being pitiful!

I picked up the remaining shot from my last order and walked back towards Clary without a word to the chatty bartender. It was one of the longest walks of my life, mostly because I didn't know what I was going to tell her, but otherwise because of how cloudy my mind felt. What if this guy was still there, what if she didn't want me there? I don't know.

Suddenly I dropped the shot; the glass shattering was silent beneath the music. I could barely see Clary behind the form of that man. He had her backed against a wall, with his head bent down capturing her lips. In a second, I felt my chest tighten, but in another I noticed something that made me grip my hand into a fist. She was struggling; I could just see her trying to move away from him, but she had nowhere to go.

I reached out and grasped his shoulder to rip him away, bringing my fist to his face as he looked towards me. He fell back, cradling his face in his hands and cursing to himself. I looked at Clary, only to wish I hadn't. Her lips were swollen and her face was flushed with fear, but also pain. She had harsh white marks on her wrists, and her dress was slightly ruffed under her slightly shaking body. She wouldn't look at me, I don't blame her.

"What the hell" The bastard groaned, grabbing my attention. There was blood flowing down from his now crooked nose, and I caught myself smirking at the realization that I had broken this pathetic jerks nose. But I wasn't satisfied.

I took hold of the front of his shirt and violently cast him towards the back exit. I followed him as he fell through the door and onto his knees. My foot made contact with his gut, earning me a load grunt of pain. I stared down at him as he stumbled to his feet, "Not so tuff anymore huh? I guess your only tuff around defenseless girls!" I laughed at him cruelly, provoking him to attack me, so I could say he asked for me to continue.

He struck me across the face, answering my taunts. He pressed forward attempting to hit me again, but I dodged it and returned his actions with one of my own punches. He stepped back to catch himself before he fell but I took hold of him and brought his chest down onto my knee. I let him fall to the ground, watching him for a moment as he fought to climb back onto his feet. I flipped him onto his back and braced a knee over his mid-section. "I want you to think about this next time you think about forcing yourself on a woman". I started beating him in the face senselessly, I'm not sure how many times I planned to hit him, or even if planned on stopping, but I know I hit him many times and that I did stop.

Hands took hold of my shoulders and pulled me away from him. "Jace, stop dammit." I heard Alec say from behind me. I tried to move forward, but he moved in front of me and cast my actions aside with his eyes. "He's had enough!" he reasoned, with a slightly warning tone, and I was vaguely becoming aware of something warm and thick running down my fingers as Alec stared me down.

Something in his eyes told me he wasn't angry, that he was just looking out for me. But I didn't understand why he appeared to be scared. It took me a long moment to realize he was scared, because he feared for me. He had taken the burden of the situation I had put myself in; he was doing what I couldn't, he was thinking rationally. But when I thought about it, I wondered if there was more to it, if he knew something I didn't.

…

I stood frozen as I watched Alec hold Jace back in a way that baffled me. They just stared at one another, silently communicating in a way that I had never seen before. I couldn't move, I hadn't moved since the moment I saw Jace toying with Kyle. I'd found Alec, and brought him to Jace, but the moment I stepped out the door to find Jace beating this man mercilessly into the ground, I was lost.

"Clary" I heard Simon say from beside me, I didn't look at him, just stared at Jace and Alec. "We need to talk" He told me simply.

"What is it?" I said numbly.

"Not now, can I pick you up tomorrow morning around eleven?" He asked. I wanted to push him for information, but I couldn't bring myself to do anything other than nod.

Jace suddenly took a few steps back from Alec, into a wall. He slid down and sat on the ground hiding his already bruising face in his hands. Alec just watched him, keeping his distance.

I felt Simon move beside me and looked to find him making his way to Kyle, who sat sitting up where Jace had pinned him moments ago. Simon took hold of the front of Kyle's shirt and yanked him to his feet violently. "You get out of here before we change are minds and not only let him finish you off, but help him!" Simon warned him and shoved him back like he was an infectious disease. "And if I ever see you again, you're going to wish I hadn't!"

He ran without a word. Returning back into the club and disappearing as the door slammed closed behind him.

…..

I brought Jace home after we got his hands fixed up . He wasn't all there, he was different, distant. He hadn't spoken a word and flinched anytime I touched him. There was fear in his eyes, eyes he refused to look at me with. He hid inside himself, and I felt lonely for him. I could only imagine what he was thinking in that head of his.

I took him into the living room and got him to sit down on the couch. "Jace?" I asked hoping to get a response from him, but it was as if he hadn't of heard me. "Alright Jace, you need to get some sleep." I told him as softly as I could manage. He didn't move, so I took matters into my own hands. I took off his shoes, watching him as I did so. He just let me do as I pleased to him, bending to my will as I pulled his jacket off. He even lifted his arms as I pulled off his shirt. I pushed him to lie on the couch and covered him with a blanket. Then I sat down on the edge of the couch and searched for the words I want to say. "Jace, I just want to say thank you. I don't know what happened to you tonight. I don't know what's wrong, but all I care about, is that you're safe. Don't punish yourself." I whispered. After a moment of him not responding I let out a sigh and kissed him on the forehead, "Goodnight". I stood to leave but felt a trembling hand lightly grasp my own.

"Please don't leave me" he was finally looking at me with his terrified eyes. "Please" he pleaded again. I looked at him, and sunk. His bruised face and bandaged hands reminding me that he had protected me and his eyes told me that he needed me to protect him.

I lifted the covers I had placed over him and tucked my body into his. I could feel his warm breath on the back of my neck as he reached an arm around me and held me close, surrounding me with his body heat. I thought I wouldn't enjoy this, I thought it would be hard to be this close to someone. But I can't imagine ever falling asleep so at peace with the world.

If only it could last.

* * *

><p>So, was that interesting or what? I expect to hear about it in your reviews.<p>

I know some of you were scared about me making Jace do something "bad" but this had been planned since day one and it's a little important (or at least I think so). I hope none of you are too bothered by what happened, but if you are please feel free to tell me off. :)

Day 5 promises!

- Simons Secret!

- Jace's Nightmare!

- What happened to Jace's parents!

- How Clary got her Scars!

- A visit home!

But before we get there I want to know what you guys thought!

REVIEW!

Please!


	18. The Past Is A Nightmare

"Mom" My yet to mature image called out as I searched the halls. In such a big home it was hard not to be lonely. "Mom" I repeated louder. The floor creaked below my step, and the boards felt chilly against the pads of my feet. The air, always felt different in the dark, like it could swallow you whole. But I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid of anything.

"Dad" I raised my voice further, creeping towards the stairs. I sure sounded scared. I knew, oh god I knew deep down in my hidden and since aged brain that this was but a memory, a childhood nightmare that I followed like a blind man following screams.

I could see the faint light coming around the staircase. I expected both my parents to be sitting in the living room- where in fact the light was coming from- as they normally sat in there after I went to bed. But being nothing more than a child, I had a sort of anxiety about traveling without them by my side. With every step down the long, seemingly endless staircase the feeling grew, I was becoming nervous with each venture down.

Then I heard the loud comforting crisp of paper being rubbed against paper, a sound I was familiar with. My parents had always been avid readers and it seemed this trait was hereditary, though I struggled with names still, I was considered quite good for my age. I finally came to the end of the steps to find that around the corner, my suspicions had indeed been correct.

My mother and father were curled together on the corner of our rather large couch. They shared a copy of Dracula- a classic my father often said to be his favorite- with my mother leaning into him, her head resting on his shoulder at the perfect angle to see the book that lay slightly propped by his hand in his lap. My father had an arm curled around her waist, holding her close. Mom would turn the page for them, as my father always left it for her to do. He had told me once, that when they shared, he would always let her turn the page because he read at a slightly more brisk pace, as she liked to pay extra detail. He also said that when he finished, he would just live in the moment of being with her, having the woman he loved close to him, But that was a secret for just me and him.

My mom seemed to notice my presence almost immediately and with her calm tone that she seemed to always have she called "Jonathan, what are you doing out of bed?" She was smiling at me, her face completely at peace as she sat with my dad.

"I cant sleep, could I sit with you, for a while?" my small and obviously tired voice asked. I noticed as I spoke- though my dad kept his eyes glued to the page- My father smirked in a loving way.

Without a word my mother patted the empty spot next to her on the couch, beckoning me to it. I walked over and lied myself down on my side, with my head placed on a pillow on my mother lap. I felt the strong hand of my father squeeze my shoulder with affection.

I didn't sleep. Back then I had, but this was always the part my mind would realize this had happened before. All I could do was listen to the turning of the pages, to the soft breathing of my parents and wait for that something to happen. I not supposed to be afraid of anything, but though I didn't remember what was going to happen, I knew it terrified me.

Then it came, the loud slam of a door and the cracking of wood that made my heart stop. I felt my father push up off the couch and run for the doorway leading to the main hall-towards the racket- but he didn't get far. A man came around the corner and shot my dad in the leg. My mothers screech seemed to drown out my fathers cry in agony. He fell to his side , holding himself off the floor with his good leg and a hand, while he used his other hand to press down in the quickly bleeding wound.

I hadn't really noticed that my mother had pulled me to stand behind her among the fireplace that seat in the other end of the room from the two men. I could feel her need to go to my father radiate off her. Looking at his brave face, I felt my cowardly tears stream down my face.

My mother had taken up the fireplace poker and held it out in defense in front of us. She was stiff, but I felt numb, perhaps suffering from shock. "Get out of my house" she yelled, her calm loving tone gone from her voice, leaving a cold voice of what I would have an imagined a warriors to be much like. He looked in our direction for the first time with a sneer on his face. His hair was medium length and shiny brown, it appeared greasy and not well kept. He had a broad chin with patchy stubble sticking out in all directions. He was tall and well-built, dressed in ragged clothes. what scared me most about him was his eyes. Looking into his eyes I saw nothing more than wild amusement in the shades of dark blue. In response to my mother simply raised the gun to point at my father's head, speaking after a moment "I'm guessing you are the Morgenstern's?" When no response came his sneer simply grew. "Good, clients tend not to like it when I deal with the wrong people".

"What is this about?" My father asked the man through gritted teeth.

"You rich people aren't too patient! I'm here because you have made some investments that are causing a lot of the wrong people problems. You my very stupid friends, you made some very dangerous enemy's" there was a playful bitter sense to his words. He seemed to both envy us and find himself superior t to us in some way. But, he was the man holding a gun.

"And what have they planned to do about it?" My father challenged as he pushed to his feet in pain and met eyes with the man behind the weapon.

"They agreed that you and your wife are to die tonight, Mr. Morgenstern." He lowered the gun and shot my father in the chest. "And maybe I'll kill your son for the hell of it!" He said bluntly as my mom called out, sobbing as my father went limp on the floor that turned scarlet around him.

She raced forward as his back was turned and swung the poker towards his head, only to have him duck. He took hold of the stick and slammed the gun down on her forehead. She fell to the floor, and just as she landed he shot her, right between the eyes. There was no hesitation.

There was so much blood, I could practically taste the bitterness mixed with the salty taste of tears that had fallen from my eyes. My heart was clenched, my body shaking as loud sobs began to escape me. I knew this was the end, Knew I was about to die and I was terrified. I had always wondered whether god was real, but standing here feet away from the man who had moments ago massacred my parents before my eyes, as I watched him smile down on my mothers corpse, I knew there was a Satan.

"This has always been my favorite part of my job, admiring my work." he said cheerfully, almost like he was unaware how inappropriate a time it was to express joy. He walked towards me, crouching down to my height, taking great glee in my fear. "You know, Iv'e always liked kids. So delict, impressionable. Personally I like girls better, the way they scream and beg." He reeked of smoke and must.I found chills snaking down my back at th sight of his yellow teeth. His hand reached out and took hold of my shirt, shaking me violently. "I could kill you, But I don't think im going to. Growing up without parents can really fuck someone up in all the right ways, and after what you've seen it would be a miracle if anything else happened. You could turn out just like me." He let go of my shirt as he pushed me backwards, letting my back hit the brick of the fireplace. He reached out again, this time grabbing me by my blond curls. "Do you want to live?" he questioned.

"Please" I begged like the coward I was.

"Alright kid, I'll let you live, but don't ever tell anyone you saw me." He tugged roughly at my hair, "If the cops find me, your dead," his voice dropped to a whisper. Releasing me he smiled down on me and said "I'll Be watching" before knocking me out cold.


	19. Truth

The world grew different and I found my face buried into strawberry scented hair that cold only be clary's. I had my arms wrapped securely around her body, holding her close to me and hoping to forever protect her from the evil in this world.

her voice broke through the silence of the room. "You awake?" she asked, her voice thick with exhaustion. The memories of last nights events came rushing back at me at the sound of her voice. Me leaving Clary alone, being jealous,drinking too much and losing my temper. I was screwing everything up, again.

"Yeah, I'm awake" I reluctantly answered, knowing that it was probably too late to pretend otherwise. I couldn't hide forever.

"Are you ok?" she questioned, I could hear the care she was showing me.

"Yeah" I said after a moment of hesitation, letting out a sigh. "I'm sorry about how I lost it last night. I was a little drunk and I know that's no excuse for how I treated that guy, but I swear im not normally a violent drunk." She stiffened in my arms as I rambled my apology.

"Who knows what would have happened if you hadn't been there Jace. The way things were going, he might have tried to rape me." She reasoned and I felt sick at the thought.

Her words hung in the air, as I thought about the possibility of having not seen them, when I had. It had crossed my mind last night, fueled me, but the reality of it ony made the guilt stronger. I had noticed him before he had assaulted her, I could have stopped it all. 'I shouldnt have left you there."

"You had no idea some guy would sexually assault me the moment you left me alone." she laughed bitterly amused.

"Well, I knew I was going to spend the night glaring guys away from you, but I didn't think any of them would have the guts to approach you so soon." I grinned into her hair, enjoying the strawberry sent.

"Funny, Something similar crossed my mind." She joked and I smiled at how bold she was becoming. "Alright, Simon's going to be here in twenty minutes, I have to get up." She slipped out from my hold.

I watched her stand up in her tousled dress, resisting the impulse to reach out and fix it for her. "what are you an Simon doing today?" I asked as I lifted my head from my pillow.

she shrugged her shoulders casually and then turned to look at me. "He want to talk to me about something, he didn't say what."

Simon was silent the whole car ride, and it was driving me crazy. None of the guys seemed to talk. Jace wont fully admit whats bugging him, Alec wont tell me but it's not hard to see he knows, not to mention how Magnus was always being so damn cryptic.

I should have paid attention to where Simon was taking me, should have asked where we were going. When I realized where, it was too late. He stopped the car two houses away from it. The house I grew up in. "Simon, what the hell do you think you're doing?" I asked almost yelling at him.

"I know" is all he said and I stared off at the house, unable to take my eyes away from it. My line of sight fixed on the boarded up window that had belonged to my room. I could feel the panic shaking me,to the very tips of my fingers. If he knew something, what exactly? What could he possibly know that would make him bring me back here.

"What do you know?" my voice unsettled as I spoke, transparent to my feelings.

"I know about them, nothing specific, but I know they abused you."

"How could you possibly know that? Did Jace tell you?" He wouldn't do that, he couldn't possibly do that. Right?

He let out a pained sigh. "You remember how I told you I went looking for you? I visited you your old house and your step dad answered the door. He offered me a ride back to where I was staying. The whole car ride he asked me questions about you, if I knew where you could be, why I was trying to find you." Simon stopped, reaching up and removing the beanie he wore. "I didn't notice him push the cigaret lighter on that old beat up piece of shit he drives. He pulled up to my motel, locked the doors and pressed the lighter to my forehead and held it there. He smiled the whole time he did it." Simon turned to me and sat up straight, moving his bangs out-of-the-way to show a round burn scar the size of a bottle cap close to his hairline. I felt tears sneak down my cheeks as guilt flooded me. "he told me, that if I ever found you, to tell him, or he would kill me."

"Simon, did you tell him?" I asked in a rush. A million scenarios running though my head and for a moment I wondered if he brought me here to hand me over to my foster-father.

"No, of course not!" He said forcefully. "Ive been keeping tabs on him, he was arrested a month ago, I dont know what for or for how long. Ive been watching the house and the only one who comes and goes is your mother."

"Then why did you bring me here?"

"I wanted to know if you had a younger brother?"

"No Simon, I don't have a brother, why would you even ask that?" I felt tired of not having answers, tired of everyone around me knowing things and making me fight for the knowledge.

"Because in that house now, is a kid who looks about ten years old. He never leaves and the only time I've seen him is in the windows when your moms gone!" His words were like a slap in the face. all that abuse, all those years of torture, that could be happening to someone else.

"Thats impossible! I would know if they adopted someone else." I tried to reason with him, tried to prove him wrong. but deep down I knew better.

"Is it Clary? How the hell would you know Clary?" He sounded angry and I could see pain in his eyes, he knew more than the fact that I was abused, he knew it destroyed me. "You certainly don't come around here, and I doubt she would tell you."

"How do I know your not trying to trick me? He could be threatening you, and this is how you get me back here. Telling me there is another kid in there being tortured, that's how you get me to go inside that place willingly." I asked him.

"You know because it's me Clary." I looked him dead in the eye, looking for any trace that he meant me harm. I searched and searched and I could find any sign he was lying to me, but I had already known he wasn't.

"Shit"


End file.
